The Befouled Weakly News

18 April 2010

Good morning on a Surprise Saturday for the Befouled Weakly News. As I mentioned last week, we are off to the south coast for the weekend and wanted, at the very least, to wish a particularly lovely couple a splendid anniversary. We’re sorry to be missing the annual Restaurant Ramble to Hemingway’s in celebration but, instead, we are putting our minds to good use in thinking of all the fabulous feasts we shall enjoy together this summer.

A gentle reminder to those of you who have not yet booked your place at the festivities to come – space is running out fast! And so far, we’ve had confirmed confirmations from Karin and Zac, Sarah and, er, me and Penny! I am hoping that the final numbers might be a bit higher than that.

Icelandic volcanoI guess you will have seen that northern Europe has essentially been shut down by the ash emanating from the Icelandic volcano.  Firstly, they lose all our money in the collapse of the Bank of Iceland and now they try to shut us all down by dumping copious quantities of ash on us all.

Of course, we’ve noticed nothing but I guess at the altitude at which airplanes fly it must be pretty grim. And, who knows how long it will go on for?

(If the collapse of the Bank of Iceland is an obscure reference for most of you, my apologies. In brief, many UK and other European governments and local authorities had invested considerable sums of money in the Bank of Iceland who, at the time, were offering very, very generous interest rates. Unfortunately, in the banking crisis they essentially lost everything and now are not sure if they will ever be able to pay it back. Oxfordshire, my former employer, lost £5 million – small change in the grand scale of things.)

The election grinds on – only three more weeks to go. Adam forwarded an interesting link to a site called Vote for Policies, not Personalities. What an interesting concept!

What is Vote for Policies?
Vote for Policies makes it easy to compare what the political parties are promising to do. It helps you make an informed, unbiased decision about who to vote for. Find out which party you really support...

So, how does it work?
Compare policies from six UK political parties on a range of key issues (just select at least four). After you have chosen the policies you agree with we’ll show you which parties they belong to. But be ready - the results can be surprising!

Have a go yourself here. So far, the Green Party is in the lead with nearly 28%. My results were reassuringly split between Labour and the Green Party. I suppose it's nice to know that I can still spot a smelly policy a mile away even without knowing which party is behind it. Having said that, it's pretty clear I am not going to support a party whose policies include sending all the immigrants home and withdrawing from the European Union.

As I guess most of you know, I quite enjoy watching and listening to sports. Each day I download a number of sports related podcasts and listen while I walk the dog or do the hovering or whatever.

One particular podcast is sponsored by Head and Shoulders and I was mightily amused by the introduction yesterday:

“Make the most out of the hair you have. New Hair Endurance for men from Head and Shoulders, cleans to give you fuller, thicker looking hair in just one week. To learn more log on to Head and Shoulders dot com. Head and Shoulders – Respect the Scalp, Get the Hair!”

That’s certainly what I need – someway (anyway) to make the most out of the hair I have which is, as you know, not much. I wonder what I would look like with fuller, thicker looking hair – would the few stray follicles clinging desperately to the bald pate on top of my head come to resemble coils of rope? In just one week? I’ll let you know.

I was sent the following link by John Dey, one of my classmates at Webb. It relates to a clip highlighting “The Farmer and the Cook” which is owned and run by another Webb classmate, Steve Sprinkle. It’s a clip from CNN which is on You Tube and you can catch it here. If anyone is passing through Ojai drop by and say hello!

Finally, I found the following amusing and reminiscent of what Ms Molly might have felt on recent occasions when a visit to the vet has been required:

Molly threatens to sue

Off to the seaside – let’s hope the weather is friendly and that we’re not inundated with too much ash.

Love to you all,


Two women were sitting next to each other at a bar. After a while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland.

The other woman responds proudly, 'Yes, I sure am!'

The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in Ireland are ya from?'

The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin, I am.'

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did you live on in Dublin?'

The other woman says, 'A lovely little area. It was in the west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, 'Faith, and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Innocence, of course.'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I! Tell me, what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated from Holy Innocence in 1964 me self!

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down, and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers, 'The Murphy twins are drunk again.'

With apologies to anyone who is offended:

I was at my bank today; there was a short line.

There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.

It was obvious she was a little irritated . . . She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"

The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."

The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too"

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, He lets out this ear splitting yell.'

'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.'

'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'

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