The Befouled Weakly News
29 November 2009 Good morning to you all. Trust you all survived the ingestation of copious quantities of Thanksgiving fare. We somehow managed to miss it all together. It’s been a fairly non-descript and certainly not very exciting week. Weather’s been up and down – bright clear days interspersed with miserable dank, dark and dreary days. The bright days are great; the dismally dreary days not so much fun when four o’clock rolls around and Molly begins the pestering ritual with an aim of securing her daily perambulations across the countryside. News from a week ago which we neglected to relay – we have new tenants in the Annexe in beautiful downtown Byfield. Some of you will be aware that our previous tenant, a rolly-polly middle-aged woman named Ann who possessed tens of thousands of stuffed toys she acquired playing bingo, left at the end of May. We made several attempts to find new tenants without any success in the early stage so, as the summer approached, we decided to leave it empty so that it could be occupied by some of the wedding guests, a plan which worked out very well – Adam and the Chinese delegation occupied it during their stay. After our return from the States in October Pen started to get back on it and found a young couple just moving in together for the first time who, so far, have proved to be very fine tenants. Mind you, it’s only been ten days so far so perhaps we better reserve judgement? You will be delighted to know that although we neglected to remember to celebrate Thanksgiving again this year, we both did remember our anniversary. Unfortunately, my plans for a delicious meal at an exclusive restaurant followed by a night of intimate delights were vigorously and strenuously rejected by Ms Playchute – Wednesday evening is one of our gym nights and I was certainly not to be allowed an evening off. So, I was compelled to carry out an arduously exhausting exercise regime, generate a significant sweat which, of course, left me far too tired for any late night intimacies. That’ll teach her! In spite of missing Thanksgiving, however, I am delighted to be able to relate that I have been able to enjoy that other aspect of the Thanksgiving weekend – watching football games on the television. Lady Penelope, of course, is distinctly underwhelmed by the opportunity but the new sports channel which has been added to our service, ESPN America, has been excellent. I was able to watch the Texas – Texas A&M game on Friday, the Alabama – Auburn match yesterday and today we have the Florida – Florida State game. That’s not to mention the highlights we had of the NFL games which were played on Thanksgiving. It doesn’t get much better than this! I was mightily relieved to read the following in The Guardian on Monday:
And finally, a cartoon from The Other Coast the other day which made me smile at least. Love to you all, Greg Thanksgiving Thoughts "Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence." "I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the 'history' I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all." "Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude." "It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general." "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them." "I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts." "Thanksgiving is so called because we are all so thankful that it only comes once a year." "What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?" "It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with 'gourmet' status." "I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land." "Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often." and... "If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you', that would suffice."
|