The Befouled Weakly News
16 August 2009 Good morning on what looks like a very pleasant morning. So, let the festivities commence! As mentioned last time, Adam, Sugar and their friend Julia returned on Sunday from a five-week adventure travelling around Europe and Ben and Donna arrived yesterday afternoon so the house is beginning to fill up. Nick and Lucy are coming to dinner this evening so we shall start easing ourselves gently into “party mode”. Sarah and Sallie and Rod fly in this week for next weekend’s celebrations; all we need now is for the weather to play its part and provide us with bright, sunny, cloudless skies with warm bordering on very warm temperatures. We’ll hope to get you a photo or two of Saturday’s activities in time for next Sunday’s edition but the bulk of the report and visual evidence may need to be held over until the following weekend. I’ve continued to make modest progress over the past week. I had my sutures out on Friday afternoon and everyday the pain and discomfort dissipates to some extent. It’s still moderately uncomfortable and, although I am sleeping well (not too much pain when I am lying down) I can see that next weekend is going to be a challenge. Still, we’ll muddle through somehow. Not much else, I’m afraid. I’ve spent most of the past couple of days sitting on the sofa watching a variety of sporting activities while Ms Playchute has had to carry out the work of several people in preparing for the festivities. Not that I’m of much use at the best of times anyway but, had I been able, I certainly would have been much more vigorous in supervising such activities, at least. Finally, a competition in which there would be no chance of my achieving anything other than finishing last:
And finally, finally – happy birthday to Amanda! Much love to you all, Greg One night our dog suddenly began barking at about 3.00 am and this continued almost every night at around the same time. Irritated and sleepy, my husband, Larry, searched the back yard for what might have disturbed this otherwise peaceful animal. For three days he found nothing amiss. When the dog woke up the neighborhood a fourth night at 3 a.m. with frantic barking Larry finally snuck around the house through the alley only to discover our quiet neighbor, the last man you'd suspect of wrongdoing, throwing pebbles over the fence at the dog. My husband demanded to know what he was doing. "My mother-in-law is visiting," the embarrassed neighbour explained. "If she gets woken up in the middle of the night one more time she says she'll leave." [Which reminds me – why am I the only person in the house who hears our dog barking and yelping and whining to be let out at 4.30 in the morning?] I think we’ve had this before but it’s still, sadly, true: Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other. The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons." The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?" The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...They have them aimed at themselves." A lawyer calls home to talk to his wife, and the maid answers the phone. "Where's my wife?" "She's upstairs in bed with another man." "I'll pay you $100,000 and get you safely out of the country if you find my gun and kill them both. I'll stay on the line while you do it." "Sí, Senor." He hears two shots, then thump, thump, thump, thump, splash, thump, thump, thump, thump, splash. The maid comes back to the phone, "I did it." "What did you do?" "I killed them both, and dumped their bodies in the pool." "What pool? Isn't this 555-3624?"
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