The Befouled Weakly News
3 May 2009 Good morning on a somewhat overcast but otherwise respectable Sunday morning. We had fun at the Grand Design Live exhibition in London on Friday and then yesterday enjoyed our annual outing to the bluebell woods at Badby. You can see the usual photos here. Some time ago Ms Playchute discovered that there was to be a Grand Design Live exhibition at the Excel conference centre in London’s docklands. Grand Design is an occasional television programme which follows the construction of new houses which incorporate “cutting-edge” design features. We’ve enjoyed watching it for many years and so thought the exhibition might be fun, not that we have any plans to construct a new home with or without cutting-edge design features. So, Ms Playchute acquired tickets and off we set on Friday morning on the train up to London. The exhibition was good fun with a wide range of interesting exhibitors. There were various sections including kitchens (always my favourite), bathrooms, outdoor/barbequing-type stuff, Jacuzzis the size of aircraft carriers, household appliances and those offering general construction products. In particular, there was an overwhelming display of chopping/cutting devices for use in the kitchen, knives that would cut through 3/4 inch stainless steel while at the same time bouncing harmlessly off any fingers which might be in the vicinity and the most amazing demonstration of non-stick pots and pans I’ve ever witnessed. We came away with a very impressive cheese grater! Then, yesterday Nick and Lucy joined us for our annual outing to the bluebell woods in Badby, just up the road from Byfield. Penny had prepared another of her astounding picnics and we enjoyed a most pleasant afternoon. We wandered through the bluebells to a field on the opposite side of the woods and found a conveniently situated fallen tree on which to perch while we consumed the chicken salad, potato salad and shrimp salad picnic which Pen had prepared. Once again, I had managed to select a suitable bottle of wine with which to wash it all down, a very pleasant bottle from the Cote du Rhone which would have been perfect washing down suitable portions of the spring lambs which were cavorting and rollicking all over the field. Alas, I hadn’t brought the barbeque. The weather was kind and the bluebells, while perhaps just a day or two away from perfection, were nevertheless splendid. Such a shame that they last such a short period of time but then again I guess we might not make such a fuss each year if they lasted longer. A splendid afternoon and, as I say, the bluebell photos are here.
You will remember that I have included some stories in the past concerning the propensity of various individuals to ramble naked through the Swiss Alps. Now, it seems, the Swiss are fighting back. This from the BBC web site earlier in the week:
So, I guess we now know where not to go for our hiking holidays. Love to you all, Greg A woman went to her priest with a problem. "Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?' " "That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest. "But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship." The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house. His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage. The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitutes. Wanna have some fun?" One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed "Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!" An elderly couple had been shopping at a grocery store, and the wife decided to steal a can of peaches. The inevitable happened and she was caught. Upon her court date, the judge asked her what she had stolen. "Your Honor, I stole a can of peaches." The judge replied, "How many peaches were in the can?" She said, "Six." The judge then said, "I will sentence you to six days in jail." Her husband stood up behind her and replied, "Your Honor, she also stole a can of peas." A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's infidelity." "Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified. "So naturally when I am home, I'm attentive to the wife." One Sunday morning," he continued, "we were in the midst of some pretty heavy lovemaking when the old lady in the apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled, 'Can't you at least stop all that racket on the weekends?'"
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The tiny Swiss canton of Appenzell Innerrhoden has voted to prohibit the phenomenon of naked hiking. Anyone found wandering the Alps wearing nothing but a sturdy pair of hiking boots will now be fined.