The Befouled Weakly News
26 April 2009 Good morning to everyone. It’s been a good week with some wonderfully Spring-like weather, bright sunshine and blue skies. Isn’t it interesting how everything seems much nicer when the weather is fine? As mentioned last time, we went for a long walk last Sunday in “new” surroundings, round about the village of Buckland in west Oxfordshire. It’s about an hour’s drive from here and quite near to where our friends Dave and Sue Walton live. So, we gave them a ring to see if they fancied a picnic and a stroll and they readily agreed to meet us outside the Buckland Memorial Hall. Fortunately, we arrived just in time for lunch so we found a convenient bench on a small parcel of grass and spread out our picnic. Naturally, each of the two parties had catered for four and I had cunningly brought a bottle of Merlot with which to wash it all down. It’s a small miracle that we actually set off on the walk following our feast. The walk was lovely and, because Buckland is some ways south of us, their spring flowers and foliage were just that bit ahead of us. The oil seed rape (canola) was much further along than that near us as these photos will attest.
Molly certainly enjoyed the walk and particularly enjoyed sharing it with the Walton’s golden retriever, Bethan. She is a sweet dog but has a few “interesting” quirks, most intriguingly the desire to lie and roll about in any significant puddle of mud. As a consequence, by the time we finished our walk she was somewhat less than “golden”. Fortunately, Molly treated this behaviour with some disdain and arrived at the end of the walk still a pristine shade. The rest of the week has been taken up with the ordinary and mundane, I’m afraid, although I did get a chance to get out on my bike on Friday for a jaunt around the local byways. Those lambs still panic whenever I pedal past. The following was in a number of news sites this week and caused a wry grin of amusement. This version is from the Guardian:
You can catch the full Alberta clip here. Finally, just to report that the early swallows are back scouting around the neighbourhood looking for some affordable housing. No buyers yet but we’re hopeful. And finally, finally - in case you missed it - the bull in the Irish supermarket. Love to you all, Greg A Jewish businessman warned his son against marrying a non-Jew. The son replied, "But she's converting to Judaism." "It doesn't matter," the old man said. "A shiksa will cause problems." But the son persisted. After the wedding, the father called the son, who was in business with him, and asked him why he was not at work. "It's Shabbos," the son replied. The father was surprised: "But we always work on Saturday. It's our busiest day." "I won't work Saturdays anymore," the son insisted, "because my wife wants us to go to shul on Shabbos." "See," the father said. "I told you marrying a non-Jew would cause problems." A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?" There was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down 'yes.'" I Think I Need a Computer ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer, I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software... ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "W" if you don't start with some straight answers.... What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later) ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START"....
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But hours of sleuthing by a puzzled sailing enthusiast, aware that Alberta has no coastline, have revealed that the idyll was filmed 5,000 miles away across the Atlantic. The girl with the flying hair and her friend were romping on the sweep of sand at Beadnell Bay near Bamburgh, Northumberland, where the North Sea rolls in from Lindisfarne.