The Befouled Weakly News

8 March 2009


Good morning once again and a Happy Sunday to you all.

I am reliably informed by those who know about these things that I was talking complete and utter nonsense in my attempt to illuminate the differences between a British and an American billion. (I had the same distinct feeling when I was writing it but the numbers involved were simply too large for my feeble brain to understand). An American billion is, of course, one thousand million; a British billion is a million million or, in other words, what the Americans refer to as a trillion. So, the £6.8bn the former head of the Royal Bank of Scotland managed to blow is 6.8 million, million, i.e., £6,800,000,000,000.00 (I think). On the other hand, the same experts agree that when referring to financial billions, most correspondents tend to use the same measure, i.e., a thousand million. So, who knows? Still, it is a shed load of money and Sir Fred Goodwin is undoubtedly good value for his nearly one million dollars a year pension. If only we had more bankers like him!

It’s been a tolerably good week weather wise with some really bright, spectacularly gorgeous days with distinctly spring-like temperatures. This morning the sun came belting through our east-facing window with eye-searing brightness at an unacceptably early hour – should be a good day. On the other hand, we had one particularly appallingly awful day (Tuesday) when the rain sheeted down in bucketfuls; on the drive home from work the wipers thrashed themselves from side to side working overtime and were barely capable of clearing away sufficient of the downpour so that the road ahead was just about visible. The spray from the lorries on the motorway, however, made the journey home quite an adventure. Rather like closing your eyes every so often just for a laugh.

I was delighted to receive an invitation to join Goodreads from Sarah yesterday morning. Those of you who are already members will know that it is another of these “social networking” sites whose purpose is to encourage its members to share information about books they have read or are currently reading. So, once I signed up I quickly discovered a few “friends” who were already members – Sallie, Susie, Sarah (of course), Mom and even Ms Playchute herself most of whom have now accepted my invitations to become my “friends”.

After signing up, I shared my first review – I am currently about two-thirds of the way through “Starter for Ten” by David Nicholls which is a very funny, laugh-out-loud kind of book. It’s very easy reading and not particularly thought-provoking to be sure but please ensure that you are not reading this book whilst drinking milk – you’re liable to have it splurt through your nose! I’m looking forward to reading everyone else’s recommendations.

The following was in the news this week. Rather similar to the book I gave Pete when he started off on his baseball expedition which traced the origins of baseball back to the UK and Europe. Not sure what the Marylebone Cricket Club will make of the news…

Cricket 'was invented in Belgium' 
By Chris Mason
BBC News, Brussels 

New academic research claims cricket is not English, but was imported by immigrants from northern Belgium. A poem thought to have been written in 1533 has been uncovered, which suggests the game originates from Flanders. In the work attributed to John Skelton, Flemish weavers are labelled "kings of crekettes", according to Paul Campbell of the Australian National University.

The discovery challenges the long established theory that the sport evolved from English children's games.

The first definitive references to the game appeared in England in the 1600s, when fines were handed out for those missing church to play.

A game played by the masses in the country was taken into public schools and the universities of Oxford and Cambridge in the century that followed. The first cricket club was formed in Hambledon in the 1760s and the world-famous Marylebone Cricket Club (MCC) was founded in 1787.

'Flemish phrase'
But German academic Heiner Gillmeister and his Australian colleague, Mr Campbell, say the discovery proves the quintessential English pastime is anything but English.

Mr Campbell has uncovered an apparent reference to cricket in the 16th Century work, The Image of Ipocrisie, attributed to the English poet John Skelton, which refers to Flemish weavers who settled in southern and eastern England.

They are described as "kings of crekettes"; "wickettes" are mentioned too.

It is thought the weavers brought the game to England and played it close to where they looked after their sheep, using shepherd's crooks as bats.

Mr Campbell's research was based on earlier investigations by Mr Gillmeister, a linguist from the University of Bonn. He is certain cricket cannot have started in England.

"There is no way to relate the term to any existing English word," he told the BBC.

"I was brought up with Flemish children and I know the language well. I immediately thought of the Flemish phrase 'met de krik ketsen' which means to 'chase a ball with a curved stick'."

In response, cricket historian David Frith said: "It is hard to deny that this is a breakthrough. This discovery points to an addition to the great history of cricket. It's exciting we haven't yet written the final word on it."

He added: "It does make you wonder why Belgium isn't playing test cricket though, doesn't it?"

But Mr Gillmeister's research does not end with cricket.

Earlier studies of his suggest that whilst the spiritual home of golf might be Scotland - records indicate the Belgians were also playing a recognisable form of that sport before people in Britain.

How’s that?

Finally, even though Ms Playchute’s Pantry is no longer open for business, we still get the occasional exotic visitor to the garden looking for something to eat.


Pheasant
Flour war in Greece

And finally, finally, a photograph of some participants at the end of a “flour war” which takes place at the end of the carnival season in Galaxidi, Greece. Looks like good, clean fun!

Love to you all,

Greg


A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde female crewmember to take care of the box for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.

The man wasn't satisfied by this assurance. He pointedly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, mentioned that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.

Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior. Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up -- so she took them home and ate them.

Three lessons here:

1. Men never learn.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most men think.

3. Even when the law is on your side, "Possession" sometimes trumps.


Pauly walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!" The bartender says, "Well, Pauly, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, eh?"

Pauly says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!"

The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round.

Monday evening arrives. Pauly comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"

The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your pay check!"

Pauly looks at the bartender with a confused look on his face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me on top of it?"


A couple came upon a wishing well. The hubby leaned over, made a wish, and threw in a coin. The wife then decided to make a wish. But when she leaned over, she fell into the well. The husband was stunned, but then smiled and said to himself, "Damn. It really works."


A nerd was walking on campus one day when his friend, another nerd, rode up on an incredible shiny new bicycle.

The first nerd was stunned and asked, "Where did you get such a nice bike?"

The second nerd replied, "Well, yesterday I was walking along minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up to me on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want!'"

The second nerd nodded approvingly, "Good choice, the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."


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