The Befouled Weakly News

15 February 2009


The cold, cold weather has continued throughout the week and although we’ve had some additional snow to add to what we had already accumulated, the roads have been largely clear and life goes on. The most challenging part of the journey to work is the twenty or thirty metres of our driveway which presents a fairly accurate resemblance to an Olympic skating rink.

When the snow came down in its abundance last week, Ms Playchute took pity on the neighbourhood birdlife and began putting copious quantities of bread out on the railway sleepers in the back garden. As she has repeated this each day since, the word has clearly made its way around the avian wildlife in the community to such an extent that they now start gathering in their multitude by about 7.30 in the morning. They perch in the trees in the back garden and all along the pergola awaiting the moment when Penelope’s Pantry will once again open for business. And, when the meal is finally served one can scarcely see the back garden for the dozens and dozens of birdlife of all size, shape and variety descend for breakfast. It is a scream. Indeed, yesterday morning the doorbell rang about 8.00 and there were three large and plumb wood pigeons enquiring as to when the first sitting was to be. I’ve tried to get a photo but unfortunately as soon as one shows one’s face at the window, they scatter as if a large bear had entered the garden.


Penelope's Pantry

A couple of wood pigeons enjoy the first sitting

Penelope's Pantry

A chaffinch waiting his turn


We watched “Charlie Wilson’s War” on television on Friday night. If you’ve not had the pleasure, it’s about Texas Congressman Charlie Wilson’s efforts to secure funding for covert support of the mujahedeen fighting the Russian occupation of Afghanistan during the 1980s and stars Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts and Philip Seymour Hoffman. Good, very watchable film which apparently mirrors fairly accurately the events of the time.

Coincidentally, yesterday marked the twentieth anniversary of the Soviet withdrawal from Afghanistan and I ran across an interesting article on the BBC web site. I won’t repeat it all but, if you are sufficiently interested, you can find it here. In a nutshell, the article is based on interviews with Soviet personnel who served and commanded the troops in Afghanistan. The overwhelming message in the article is that the West is essentially repeating the same mistakes that the Soviets made twenty years ago in assuming that a military victory is possible in Afghanistan.

Now just 20 years later, the Russians are looking with astonishment at the way the US and Nato-led forces are waging their war in Afghanistan.

The view from Moscow is that the Western forces have learned nothing from the bitter experience of the Soviet Union. Instead, they are falling into exactly the same trap.

One prime example is the current plan by the US to send tens of thousands of extra troops.

"Doubling their forces won't lead to a solution on the ground," says Col Oleg Kulakov, who served twice in Afghanistan and is now a lecturer and historian in Moscow.

"The conflict cannot be solved by military means, it's an illusion," he adds.

"No-one can reach any political goal in Afghanistan relying on military force. Frankly speaking, they are doomed to repeat our mistakes."

Rory Stewart, the young man who walked across Afghanistan in 2002 made the same observation in his book “The Places in Between”. He made the point that the government’s authority barely extends throughout the whole of Kabul, let alone the rest of the country. The concept of a centralised, democratic government in a land where the local warlord is “king” is a pipedream.

Ironically, when I was doing a bit of research on Charlie Wilson’s war and Operation Cyclone (the covert CIA operation to arm and supply the mujahedeen) I ran across a statement by Jimmy Carter’s National Security Adviser, Zbigniew Brzezinski.

In a 1998 interview with the French news magazine Le Nouvel Observateur, Brzezinski recalled: "We didn't push the Russians to intervene, but we knowingly increased the probability that they would... That secret operation was an excellent idea. It had the effect of drawing the Soviets into the Afghan trap... The day that the Soviets officially crossed the border, I wrote to President Carter, ‘We now have the opportunity of giving to the Soviet Union its Vietnam War.’”

So, the West induced the Soviets to go into Afghanistan so that they could repeat the mistakes the US had made in Vietnam and now the US and the West are repeating the process all over again. It seems Santayana is right (again) - "Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."

And speaking, as we are, of matters diplomatic, I thought you would enjoy the news concerning our very own favourite diplomat. The following arrived in my mailbox a few days ago:

Dear Colleagues,
 
Jordan RyanIt is my pleasure to announce that the Secretary-General has appointed Jordan Ryan (USA) as Assistant Secretary-General, Assistant Administrator of UNDP and Director of the Bureau for Crisis Prevention and Recovery (BCPR). As you know, Jordan will be replacing Kathleen Cravero who is taking a leave of absence from UNDP. 
 
I would like once again to thank Kathleen for her tireless efforts at the helm of BCPR. Her successor inherits a Bureau that is well positioned to lead and coordinate the work of the UNDP and the UN on crisis and recovery efforts in the years to come.
 
Jordan brings with him a wealth of development experience, including in post-crisis settings. He began his career with UNDP as an Assistant Resident Representative with UNDP China in 1991.  He then moved on to UNDP Viet Nam where he served as Senior Assistant Resident Representative and then later as Deputy Resident Representative from 1993-1996.  He was assigned to Headquarters as Deputy Director of the Office of the Administrator from 1996-1997 and then as Director of that Office from 1997-2001.  He returned to the field as UN Resident Coordinator and UNDP Resident Representative in Viet Nam from 2001-2005 where he was one of the key inspirations for Delivering as One. 
 
Jordan has most recently been serving as the Deputy Special Representative of the Secretary-General (Recovery and Governance) and the UN Resident and Humanitarian Coordinator of the United Nations Mission in Liberia, a position he has held since 2006.
 
Prior to joining UNDP, Jordan was in private practice as an attorney, both in California and New York, and as an international legal consultant in Asia and in the Middle East.
 
Jordan holds a B.A. in Anthropology from Yale University, a J.D. from the George Washington University and a Masters Degree from the Columbia University School of International and Public Affairs. He was a visiting fellow at the Kennedy School of Government, Harvard University in 2001.
 
Please join me in congratulating Jordan on this important appointment and wishing him all the success in his new assignment.   
 
Warm regards,
 
Kemal

 

I think Jordan now possesses the longest job title in Christendom.

Love to you all,

Greg


Two friends were out drinking when suddenly one lurched backward off his barstool and lay motionless on the floor.

"One thing about Jim," his buddy said to the bartender, "he knows when to stop."


Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.

I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nude bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.

But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my lifelike men. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.

He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

"What's going on here?"

"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.

"Well, what the hell are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"

I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"


A priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little speech at the dinner.

However, the politician was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own
few words while they waited.

"I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told me he had stolen a television set and, when questioned by the police, was able to lie his way out of it. He had stolen money from his parents, embezzled from his employer, had an affair with his boss's wife, taken illegal drugs, and gave VD to his sister. I was appalled."

The shocked crowd murmured their disapproval of the miscreant among them.

"But," the old priest continued, "as the days went on I learned that my people were not all like that and I had, indeed, come to a fine parish full of good and loving people."

Just as the priest finished his talk, the politician arrived full of apologies at being late. He immediately began to make the presentation and gave his talk:

"I'll never forget the first day our parish priest arrived," he told the crowd, still at sharp attention after the priest's words. "In fact, I had the honor of being the first person to go to him for confession...."

The Moral: Never, ever be late when you're on the program.


Back to the Befouled Weakly News