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Brrrr! It is cold. I guess that was it for autumn – a pleasant week or so and then gone in a flash. And to think that only last week we had such a pleasant stroll down the canal!

On Tuesday evening we had our friend Vicky over for dinner and part way through the evening we glanced out the window to see our first snow of the season. It was wet, sleety snow to be sure and only about an inch all told but it was still there in the morning.

I don’t think we need snow in October. (Actually, I am not convinced we need snow at all but I suppose it is moderately more picturesque than a similar quantity of dull, drizzling rain so I shouldn’t complain).

It seems that the last time we had snow in October in our neck of the woods was 1974, according to the BBC web site and in London (where it also snowed on Tuesday) it’s been even longer – 1934. Does all that mean we are in for a long, cold winter? I hope not.

At any rate, we got off relatively lightly (although it’s still cold). Parts of Devon were hit by some absurdly freak weather on Wednesday which dumped bucket-loads of rain, hail and snow and which was accompanied by hurricane force gales. Ottery St Mary, which is the town in which Penny’s brother Alfred lives, was worst hit and there are some incredible photographs on the BBC web site of six foot “hailstone” drifts and the ensuing floods. All gone within twenty-four hours but they will be clearing up the mess for weeks or months to come.

All this in October.

Pen received the following from her sister J in Toronto and forwarded it on to me. Some of you will have seen it before and I may even have used it previously – who knows?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew"). Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, “See, we can still pluck yew!” Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative ‘F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

Alas, were it but true. As I say, I had received this a few times previously but on this occasion decided to do a bit of research. Turns out it’s all an urban myth, not least of which because the so-called “middle finger salute” is not an action generally employed by the English; the Brits are much more likely to employ a two-finger salute. Still, one could change the story to refer to the French intending to cut off two fingers which would equally make the longbow difficult to pull.

Nevertheless, the middle-finger gesture, which has apparently had phallic connotations in every culture in which it has been used, is much older than the Hundred Years War. It dates back to ancient Greece, at least, where it was referenced in "The Clouds," a play written by Aristophanes in 423 B.C. It was also well known to the Romans, who referred to it variously as digitus infamis ("infamous finger") and digitus impudicus ("indecent finger"). In all likelihood its origins were prehistoric.

Equally, etymologists say [please avert your eyes if you are my mother or anyone else of a nervous disposition] the word “fuck”  found its way into the English language from Dutch or Low German during the 14th century and made its first written appearance around 1500. The word pluck, on the other hand, is of Latin derivation and there is no known linguistic connection between the two English words. It's doubtful the expression "Pluck yew" was ever uttered before 1996, when this apocryphal story first went into circulation online.

So, sorry to be a tedious and tiresome debunker but the story is quite cute anyway, even if it has no substance in fact. It was even used as a Car Talk puzzler once upon a time, it seems.

Thoroughly enjoyed the three inning World Series finale on Wednesday – Penny even watched some of it with me (recorded, of course – we can’t watch it at 1.30 in the morning no matter how keen we might be). You know, this could catch on and would certainly attract an additional cohort of followers, I am sure. I think I’ll drop Bud a line. They could play the whole season in the normal way but then make each round of the playoffs a simple, one-game knockout of three innings each. It would certainly be exciting.

Finally, the following got me thinking – is there any way I would risk the following to retrieve my mobile phone?

Man's arm trapped in train toilet A passenger on a French train had to be rescued by firemen after having his arm sucked down the on-board toilet. The 26-year-old victim was trapped when he tried to fish out his mobile phone, which had fallen into the toilet bowl, and fell foul of the suction system. The high-speed TGV train had to stop for two hours while firemen cut through the train's pipework. The man was carried away by emergency services, with the toilet still attached to his arm. "He came out on a stretcher, with his hand still jammed in the toilet bowl, which they had to saw clean off," said Benoit Gigou, a witness to the man's plight. The incident happened on Sunday evening, aboard a train travelling in western France between La Rochelle and Paris.

Having had the delightfully pleasant opportunity of utilising the facilities on a number of railways in various parts of the world, I can assure you that there is no way in heaven that my hand would be going anywhere near the toilet bowl.

Love to you all,

Greg

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Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.

"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"

"Oh Jack, why would you ask such a question now? You don't want to ask that question..."

"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."

"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."

"Three? When were they?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"

"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"

"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here, to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"

"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't have a more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"

"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?"

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Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.

When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:'' Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''

The bus driver shakes his head and says, ''No, I'm sorry.''

At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''

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Recently, I called to make reservations on a small charter plane that departs from Teterboro airport in New Jersey.

I knew that I would be flying in a very small plane, so I was not surprised when the clerk said, "The plane is very full with baggage and passengers." Then she asked, "How much do you weigh, sir?"

Not thinking clearly I answered, "With or without clothes?"

"Well," said the clerk, "how do you intend to travel?"

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And finally, in recognition of the fact that in a couple of days it will all be over….

Two political candidates were having a hot debate. Finally, one of them jumped up and yelled at the other, "What about the powerful interest that controls you?"

And the other guy screamed back, "You leave my wife out of this!"