The Befouled Weakly News
31 August 2008
While glancing at the BBC web site yesterday, I ran across reference to a new website which has been launched to help people find the origins of their name and how far it may have spread. The Public Profiler site plots 10.8 million last names using data from electoral rolls and phone directories and, apparently, covers a billion people in 26 countries, showing the origins of names and where families have scattered. As with any of these sites one comes across from time to time, I had to put it to the test with a fairly ordinary, common name – Stragnell. You’ll no doubt be surprised at the results: The name “Stragnell” appears in both the US and in the UK with, surprisingly, approximately the same frequency per million inhabitants: 0.07. I haven’t done the maths precisely but I have to say that seems a bit odd to me. On the one hand, there are undoubtedly more “Stragnells” in the US than in the UK but could the frequency per million of population conceivably be about the same? My quick calculations suggest that that would be about 4.2 “Stragnells” in the UK, and 21 in the States. Go on – I know you’ve started counting! Of course, there’s more to it than that; the site then goes on to detail where you might run across this particular surname. It seems that the most popular regions for this surname in descending order are Arizona (0.91 per million or 5.91 “Stragnells”), East Midlands, GB (0.61 or 2.44 “Stragnells”), New York (0.45 – 8.82 “Stragnells”), California (0.35 – 12.75 “Stragnells”) and, surprisingly, the West Midlands in the UK (0.24 – 0.54 “Stragnells”). It then goes on to list the cities where these surnames occur, again in descending order: Atascadero, Prescott, Northampton (UK), Daventry (UK) and Huletts Landing. Hmmm. Do you get the feeling that their data might not be completely up to date here? Finally, the top forenames for the surname, Stragnell: Stephen, Ritz, Sanford, Robert and Nicholas. No, correct me if I am wrong but I can think of only one Stephen, one Ritz and one Sanford but surely there are two Roberts and two Gregs, aren’t there. You can have a play yourself at www.publicprofiler.org/worldnames Interestingly, when I entered “Butler” the system crashed! Love to you all, Greg John and Hy were out playing golf on a nice Saturday afternoon. They were getting frustrated, though, because the two women who were playing right in front of them were quite slow and were holding up the men's game. "Don't they know they're supposed to let us play through?" John asked. "I guess not," Hy replied. "I'm going to go ask them if we can play through," John said. "Enough is enough." He started walking over toward the women, but as he got close, he suddenly turned around and came back, white as a ghost. "Oh God," John said to his friend, "This is awful. You're going to have to ask them!" "Why?" Hy asked. "One of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress!" John said, still shaking. "No sweat," Hy said -- but just as he was getting close, he turned around and came running back too. "What happened?" John asked. "Well, let me tell you," Hy said. "It's a small world!" Allegedly real warning labels Batman Costume - Warning: Cape does not enable user to fly. European Camera - This camera will only work when film is inside. Liquid Plumber - Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages. Toilet Plunger - Caution: Do not use near power lines. Little Ones Baby Lotion - Keep away from children Hair Coloring - Do not use as an ice cream topping. [What are they thinking?] Boot's Children's Cough Medicine - Do not drive a car or run machinery. Thomas Gladstone, a stockbroker, received an urgent phone call one afternoon. "My name is Walters," the caller announced. "About two weeks ago my wife got a crazy idea and started walking the street asking me to procure customers for her." "Just a minute," Gladstone protested. "You want Dr. Gladstone the psychiatrist. His name is right below mine in the phone book. Many people dial me by mistake." "No mistake," came the reply. "I want you to invest all the money we're making." We’ve had it before but it’s still pretty good… An American is visiting in France for several weeks. As his stay nears an end, he is sitting around with three of his new-found French friends shooting the breeze. The subject turns to language, and the American says, "Guys, I do have one question left. I keep hearing this expression, 'sang froid'. What does it mean? I know that it literally means, 'cold blood', but how is it used?" The first Frenchman replies, "Ah, zat is easy. Say that a man walks into his bedroom, only to find his wife in bed with his best friend. If he can turn around and walk out without them knowing he was evair zere, *zat* is sang froid!" The second Frenchman interjected, "You have eet all wrong! If, in zis circumstance, zee gentleman can calmly stand zere, and say, 'Please don't mind me; please continue', zen *zat* is sang froid!" "Non, non, non!" burst out the third. "If ze gentleman bursts een on his wife and his best friend, stands there saying, 'Please continue', and his friend *CAN* continue, *zat* is sang froid!" Back to Greg's Temporary Home Page
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Well, it’s official: this has been the wettest and, apparently, the dullest August in the UK since records began. I heard it on the BBC news on Friday evening (and that was before the weekend so clearly the record was achieved with room to spare). Or, at least, that’s as far as the BBC news is considered; the Telegraph cites August as the dullest August on record but states that this month has only been the seventh wettest August ever so who knows. All I know is that it has been dull and damp for far too long and we’re fed up with it.
Still, the wet and dismal weather didn’t prevent one BBC weather presenter from forecasting record temperatures for the Windsor area last Thursday. Clearly the Met office couldn’t decide whether it was going to reach 22 or 23 degrees so, unfortunately, they put 232 degrees (about 450 degrees Fahrenheit) on the map behind the presenter as she delivered the forecast.