The Befouled Weakly News

3 August 2008


Good morning and welcome to a bonus edition of the Befouled Weakly News. I know I said you wouldn’t be getting one this week but that was so long ago, I forgot.

We’ve had a glorious week of weather (apart from a slightly damp Thursday). The weather at the beginning of the week was glorious – hot and sunny; now, at the end of the week it is still gloriously sunny although the wind is up and the temperatures have cooled down, much to Penny’s and just about everyone else’s relief. After my trials and tribulations with a succession of flat tyres over the previous week, I patched the latest inner tube and had a fabulous, long ride on Wednesday afternoon in the heat and sun – glorious.

Speaking of cycling, last Sunday we (Ms Playchute and I) sat down to watch the final stage of the Tour de France. She has watched much of the race over the past three weeks as I have had the highlights on most evenings. However, prior to Sunday her interest and enthusiasm was lukewarm, at best. On Sunday, although she would be loath to admit it, she actually became quite animated and actually took an active interest in the final sprint finish on the Champs-Élysées. However, the two hour review programme on the Monday evening was more than she could bear and I was roundly chastised for suggesting that we should watch yet more cycling.

As mentioned in a previous instalment, we are off to Prague for a little rest and relaxation this coming week. We collect Ben and Donna from the airport this afternoon and then we’re off down to our friends Sue and Stuart near Brighton. I’m not sure whether or not I mentioned that they are coming with us nor, I think, did I mention the accommodation we have secured. There is a delightful elderly lady in the village who is Czech although she has lived most of her life in the UK. She owns two apartments right in the centre of the old town in Prague which she lets out to suitably responsible and appropriate guests. (So, why she agreed to let us have them I cannot imagine). Apparently, they look out over a quiet square just near the university but no doubt we will be able to fill you in with much greater detail upon our return. We will spend the night with Sue and Stuart and then make our way to Gatwick for an appallingly early flight to Prague. Fortunately, Gatwick is only about half an hour from Sue and Stuart’s so the early flight will be somewhat mitigated (we hope). Everyone raves about Prague so I hope our expectations will not turn out to be too heavily over-inflated.

Not being a huge fan of snails, I was not the least bit perturbed by the following:

SnailsFrench to shell out over snails
By Hugh Schofield
BBC News, Paris

Producers warn the price of snails - one of France's more exotic foodstuffs - is about to soar, because of economic development in eastern Europe.

France consumes more than 14,000 tonnes of snails every year but practically none of them are actually French.

With the most prized species now under protection, the industry relies on central and east European imports.

But economic progress in countries like Poland and Bulgaria means less appetite for the hard work of snail-gathering.

Until now, every year rural families there could earn a decent wage from collecting the animals in the fields and woods.

So the companies which buy the snails are putting up their salaries in order to keep their employees, which means they are going to have to put up their prices in order to stay solvent.

With only a few snail farms still active in France itself, mainly in the hills of Burgundy, the French Federation of Preserved Food Industries is warning that the days of cheap snails are over.

It is a lesson in global economics that lovers of Escargots a la bourguignonne are going to have to live with.

Or not, as the case may be.

Finally, two beautiful young ladies on a glorious summer’s afternoon in beautiful, downtown Byfield.

Penny amongst the flowers
Molly

See you after the break.

Love to you all,

Greg


Some bizarre sporting failures I ran across recently…

Wallace Williams ran in the 1979 Pan-American Games marathon, but was so slow that by the time he reached the stadium it was locked and everyone had left.

To fight the heat in the 1950 Tour de France, Abd-El Kader Zaag drank a bottle of wine and promptly fell off his bike. After sleeping it off by the side of the road, he got back on and rode off - in the wrong direction.

Russian athlete Ivanon Vyacheslav was so excited to win a medal at the 1956 Melbourne Olympics that he threw the medal high into the air in jubilation. Unfortunately it landed in Lake Wendouree where, despite a frantic search, it remains to this day.

Preparing for a bout at the 1992 New York Golden Gloves Championships, boxer Daniel Caruso psyched himself up by pounding his gloves into his face. In doing so, he broke his nose and was declared unfit to box.

After beating 1,000 rivals in a 500-mile race, Percy the racing pigeon flopped down exhausted in his Sheffield loft and was promptly eaten by a cat.


Have we had this before? You can tell I need some more stuff – send it my way!

Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.

The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons."

The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first spaceman says, "I don't think so...They have them aimed at themselves."


A man, whose level of drunkenness was bordering on the absurd, stood up to leave a bar and fell flat on his face.

"Maybe all I need is some fresh air," thought the man as he crawled outside.

He tried to stand up again, but fell face first into the mud.

"Screw it," he thought. "I'll just crawl home."

The next morning, his wife found him on the doorstep asleep.

"You went out drinking last night, didn't you?" she said.

"Uh, yes," he said sheepishly. "How did you know?"

"You left your wheelchair at the bar again."

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