The Befouled Weakly News
27 April 2008 Good morning on what is, surprisingly, a modestly pleasant day. I say “surprisingly” because the forecast for today (and for the rest of the week) is depressingly dismal; rain, rain, rain and then, just by way of a change, some more rain. The icons on my browser seemingly don’t have sufficient streaks on the rain symbol to signify the amount of rain we are anticipating receiving. What was it I joked about at one point last year? Building an ark? Hmmm. I better start getting the materials together. Yesterday was glorious – sunny and deceptively warm. After mowing the lawns and doing some grocery shopping in delightful Daventry, I decided a bike ride was in order and so set off for a leisurely spin. The weather was gorgeous and it was sufficiently warm that I decided I did not need my lycra leggings and, about half way, I had to stop and detach the long sleeves from my shirt; I would have ridden topless but that would have inflicted unnecessary stress and cruelty on all the wildlife in the vicinity, not to mention endangering the occasional driver. The routes I tend to take generally involve very little traffic so, as one pedals leisurely along, all one hears are the birds singing and the lambs in the field crying for their mums when they temporarily wander off a bit too far for comfort. Absolutely glorious. Good news for those of you who have been waiting anxiously – our swallows arrived back on Tuesday and at least two have been investigating the available accommodation in the garage. We think they’ve settled on one of the apartments as, since then, they have been swooping in and out carrying out the spring cleaning and decorating which is required.
Very probably, almost certainly, no Befouled Weakly News next week. My re-scheduled neck surgery is due to take place on Thursday and I may not be back home until Monday or Tuesday. Let’s hope the rain has stopped by then! Love to you all, Greg
Now that Ms Playchute has returned home and read this week's Befouled Weakly News, she insists that the following Errata be published:
(1) Cheepie Cheepie has been cheeping from the gutter above the nest for the past five years. The reason that I said "we" hadn't noticed his presence before was because I am an ignorant fool (or so I am reliably informed).
(2) Cheepie Cheepie is NOT a finch of some description; he is a common, old garden house sparrow, as any fool can plainly see.
We apologise for any inconvenience these errors may have caused.
A French guest, staying in a hotel called room service for some pepper. "Of course, Sir. Black pepper, or white pepper?" asked the concierge. "Toilette pepper!" A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort to be with his family on the weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some bonding time. Just he and his granddaughter. One particular Sunday however, he had a bad cold and really didn't feel like being up at all. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and took their granddaughter out. When they returned, the little girl anxiously ran upstairs to see her grandfather. "Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?" "Oh yes, Papa" the girl replied, "and do you know what? We didn't see a single dumb bastard or lousy shithead anywhere we went today!" Driving School: allegedly real answers received on exams given by the California Department of Transportation's driving school: Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road? Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four- way stop at the same time? Q: When driving through fog, what should you use? Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully? Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed? Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light? Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic? A maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and asked: "Maria, times are tough. I must make do on what my husband gives me. I'm not getting a raise. Tell me three reasons why you deserve one." Maria says, "Well Señora, The first is that I iron better than you." Wife: "Who said you iron better than me?" Maria: "Your husband said so." Wife: "I see." Maria: "The second reason is that I am a better cook than you." Wife: "Nonsense, who said you were a better cook than me?" Maria: "Your husband did." Wife: "Oh." Maria: "My third reason is that I am a better lover than you." Wife: "Did my husband say that as well?!" Maria: "No Señora, the gardener did." Back to Greg's Temporary Home Page
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We’ve also had the delightful and continuous presence of a finch of some description (I think – Pen is not here to ask at the moment and my knowledge of wildlife is certainly somewhat suspect) who perches himself atop the guttering and chirps away all day long while his missus scampers about collecting nest building materials. They’ve had a nest up under the roof there for a number of years but this could be a new pair this year as we haven’t noticed the continual presence of the male before. He sits there all day pronouncing on the state of the world and, I guess, supervising the building project. Sounds like a Stragnell male to me.