Good morning once again from beautiful, downtown Byfield.

Now that our account of the Foray to France has been concluded, I am afraid we are back to the tedium and tiresome dreariness that constitutes our day to day existence, especially now that autumn is firmly entrenched and winter is but a moment away.

We’ve had some fantastic weather this week – bright, bright brilliantly blue skies – but the price we’ve had to pay is the somewhat chilly temperatures. With no cloud cover to provide any insulation, we’ve had some very sharp frosts at night (those of you on the west coast, of course, have no concept of sharp frosts but those of you in the east will have more than a feel for below freezing temperatures) which have produced a sparkling white panorama across the fields and hills to the south of our bedroom window each morning. Fortunately, we haven’t yet reached the point where we are going to work in the dark – that’s still a few weeks away, although we are already coming home from work in the dark – so at least we are able to enjoy the splendour of the frosty mornings before having to drag our sorry backsides to work.

Last weekend we enjoyed a delightful gathering at Pete and Sal’s in honour of Pete’s return and his remarkable achievement. Dozens of friends and family had congregated from all over the country to celebrate his success and to share their favourite bits of his journey. The party, somewhat surprisingly, had a Baseball theme although Pen and I were the only ones, I think, to actually pull our socks up over our trousers. She and I each wore a baseball t-shirt of some description, I wore my Red Sox cap and she turned out in Yankees attire and we nibbled on baseball stadium snacks all evening. All in all a splendid occasion.

Fortunately, Pete was in fine fettle which is more than can be said this morning. Last Wednesday as he was getting up and showered he noticed a bright red “floater” in his right eye and immediately recognised the symptoms of another detached retina. So, off he trotted to the doctor who, coincidentally, had similarly enjoyed the experience of having two detached retinas during the summer. Following that consultation, the necessary arrangements were made and Sally whisked him off to Oxford straight away; he had surgery to put it back in place on Wednesday evening and returned home Thursday afternoon. Since he recognised what was happening, this one was caught much earlier than the other eye he had done in Albuquerque and, as a result, his recuperation regime does not require him to spend the next two weeks lying on his stomach with his head in a doughnut shaped pillow. He is merely confined to lying on his left side and is allowed to be upright for ten minutes each hour. A veritable luxury compared to his Albuquerque experience. Also none of the heavy medication which knocked him sideways. So, apparently, the key, especially for those of us who are myopic, is to watch out for bright red floaters in the corner of your eye and if you see one, get down to see your doctor at once!

And finally, Sally send the following over this morning. The original caption was “What happens when your children take your driving licence away” but I was struck by the alarming similarity of this couple to our very own. Are Mom and Dad still driving?

Love to you all,

Greg

---

Being a teenager and getting a tattoo seem to go hand in hand these days. I wasn't surprised when one of my daughter's friends showed me a delicate little Japanese symbol on her hip. "Please don't tell my parents," she begged.

"I won't" I promised. "By the way, what does that stand for?"

"Honesty," she said.

---

We purchased an old home in Northern New York State from two elderly sisters. Winter was fast approaching and I was concerned about the house's lack of insulation. "If they could live here all those years, so can we!" my husband confidently declared.

One November night the temperature plunged to below zero, and we woke up to find interior walls covered with frost. My husband called the sisters to ask how they had kept the house warm. After a rather brief conversation, he hung up.

"For the past 30 years," he muttered, "they've gone to Florida for the winter."

---

Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide.

The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK. It's a coincidence. I'm looking for my wife, too. I can't find her and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says, "Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?

The young guy says, "Well, she's 29, tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, big boobs, and she's wearing these little tight white shorts. What does your wife look like?"

The old guy says, "Forget about my wife. Let's look for yours."

---

A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's fidelity."

"Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified. "So naturally when I am home, I'm attentive to the wife."

"One Sunday morning," he continued, "we were in the midst of some pretty heavy love-making when the old lady in the apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled, 'Can't you at least stop all that racket on the weekends?'"

---

Back to the Befouled Weakly News