Good morning one and all. Before we begin this weak’s edition, we must publish a letter from one of our many disgruntled readers:

Sir, You recently wrote, in your Befouled Weakly News: “The Canal du Midi is the oldest working canal in the world, a magnificent feat of seventeenth century engineering. It is a beautiful and tranquil waterway, connecting the Atlantic Ocean to the Mediterranean Sea." Hmm – I think you'll have to argue with the Chinese about that one. In fact, the Grand Canal of China is the world's oldest and longest canal, far surpassing the next two grand canals of the world: the Suez and Panama canals. The building of the Grand Canal began in 486 B.C. during the Wu Dynasty. It was extended during the Qi Dynasty, and later by Emperor Yangdi of the Sui Dynasty during six years of furious construction from 605-610 AD (see http://www.chinapage.com/canal.html). Also, the canal that terminates in Sugar’s home town, the Ling Canal, “is a wonderful example of the engineering and architectural skill that existed in Chinese society more that 2000 years ago. The Canal was built in the year 214 BC by Qinshihuang, first Emperor of the Qin Dynasty. The canal system connects two rivers, Guilin’s Li River and the Xiang River but as these rivers are tributaries of the Pearl and Yangtze Rivers the connection linked two of the largest river systems in China thereby opening a huge area to allow travel and commerce to flourish. It was also an important political move as it unified north and south and allowed the Emperor to consolidate his power.” Yours, Cheesed off in China

Well, I suppose that’s what we get for relying on western historical sources. With sincere apologies to all our Chinese readers I am more than happy to set the record straight.

And so on to the concluding portion of our Foray to France.

On Thursday, following the usual routine of a breakfast of freshly baked croissants, we said good-bye to Joe and Amandine and set off on the road to Perpignan and the airport by way of some dramatic and inspiring ruins and scenery. While Joe and Amandine kept insisting that our visit had been a most welcome diversion from the tedium of their daily routines, we couldn’t help but notice the spring in their step and the jig of a dance they performed in the market square as we drove away.

The day was overcast and spitting with rain as we retraced our route of Wednesday down the motorway and across toward Carcassonne. However, before reaching Carcassonne, we turned off on a smallish road toward the village of Lagrasse and the Abbaye Lagrasse. Lagrasse is described as, “the most beautiful village in France.” Hmmm, haven’t we heard that somewhere before.... Indeed, however, it is a very beautiful village and undoubtedly would have been even more picturesque had the sun been shining. Also, being October the Abbaye wasn’t open to visitors until the afternoon and, as we had a plane to catch, all we could do was cross the 12th century hump back bridge, wander around the edge of the Abbaye, down across the river again, through the narrow streets of the village, grab a coffee/hot chocolate in the café and then back on the road again.

We left Lagrasse and headed on some fairly small and interesting winding roads towards the Chateaux de Quéribus and Peyrepertuse.

The Château de Quéribus is one of the so-called "Five Sons of Carcassonne", along with Aguilar, Peyrepertuse, Termes and Puilaurens: five castles strategically placed to defend the new (1659) French border against the Spanish. It’s location alone is simply stunning – at the top of a steep ridge, high and isolated – and once again one marvels at the determination of those who built it. In the 11th century it had been a castle guarding the frontier and, in later times, it became one of the Cathar’s last refuge. After the fall of Montségur in 1244 surviving Cathars gathered together here. In 1255 a French army was dispatched to deal with these remaining Cathars, but they slipped away without a fight.

Château de Quéribus

Château de Peyrepertuse

If Quéribus is stunning, Peyrepertuse simply defies description. Located again at the top of a steep, high and isolated ridge, it is huge. And then you remember that all the building materials had to be hauled up to the top of this mountain. It is the largest of the Cathar castles stretching to 2 hectares with a 2.5 km wall and reminds you more of a city than a castle. During the 12th century it belonged to the King of Aragon; however, when in 1240 various leaders of the Cathars escaped to it, it had to share the fate of all of the Cathars' castles.

From Peyrepertuse we made our way through the unbelievably narrow Gorges de Galamus, carved by the River Agly. This, once again, defies description – how on earth did engineers build a road along the steep cliffs of this gorge (and, perhaps equally perplexing – why?) The gorge is only 3 km but it seems much longer as you inch your way along the narrow road, expecting to encounter oncoming traffic at every turn. The road was built in 1892 and twists dramatically along a shelf carved out of the rock which occasionally overhangs it as the gorge becomes narrower and narrower at the northern end. When we visited this area with Dad and Mom in 1990 I remember driving through the gorge; now I cannot imagine how we did it – the road is wide enough for only one car in various spots yet traffic travels both ways down (and up) the gorge. It would be a real drag to meet a large camper or something; as it was we had to back up about 100 metres when we met the one car coming in the opposite direction; in the summer it must be a nightmare. The hermitage of St. Antoine-de-Galamus is located at the southern end of the gorge and is built into the side of the gorge where there were some natural caves. Indeed, the area has been inhabited since pre-historic times and undoubtedly seemed like a good spot to get away from it all. It is reckoned that the site was occupied by early hermits seeking some sort of spiritual inspiration as long ago as the 7th century but the current Hermitage was built by St Paul de Fenouillet in the 1780s.

The Gorges de Galamus and the hermitage of St. Antoine-de-Galamus

We eventually emerged from the Gorges de Galamus onto a fairly main and substantial road which ultimately would lead to Perpignan and the airport. However, we had one other diversion to take seeking a rendezvous in or near the village of Tautavel – we had to make an effort to track down the Butler’s Mas where they lived for a number of years in the late 1980s and early 1990s. So, we found ourselves in Tautavel where we grabbed a bite of lunch and then spent the next hour or so scouring the countryside looking for the Mas. A phone call to Beryl back in England to solicit some instructions proved somewhat fruitless – she always has had difficulty distinguishing her left from her right and the place had changed so much in the intervening years that her instructions unfortunately made no sense at all. After three trips out into the countryside going up (and back down again) a number of lanes and tracks we found ourselves back in Tautavel ready to abandon our expedition. One final interview with a passerby got us on the right road however and, as we rounded a bend, there it was in front of us. Even on a drizzly overcast day we were reminded of what a great spot this was, in the middle of nowhere with vineyards as far as the eye could see in all directions. In the time since the Butler’s sold it, what was the derelict cottage to the left has been renovated and we could see through the front doors that the enormous main room (where the wine would have originally been stored) was still one wide open space as it had been in their day.

The Butler's Mas outside Tautavel

And so, on to the airport and back to England after a wonderful and fun-filled six days. Our thanks to Joe and Amandine for putting up with us and for directing our visit with such effortless skill and charm. They foolishly suggested we should come again; pity for them, but we shall.

And finally, this from the BBC web site earlier this week:

Don't die in parliament, it's the law A ban on people dying in the Houses of Parliament has been named the most absurd legislation in Britain. In a public vote, the second strangest law was one making it an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the monarch's head upside down on an envelope. A bizarre Liverpudlian bye-law that apparently banned women from going topless in public unless they worked in a tropical fish store came third. However, the city has denied such a rule existed, saying it was an urban myth. A spokesman for Liverpool City Council said: "It's something that has been heard of before and does crop up from time to time, but it is absurd. "It is a myth and totally made up. It has no basis in fact." But others are real - the reason people are banned from dying in parliament is that it is a Royal palace. Nigel Cawthorne, author of The Strange Laws of Old England, said: "Anyone who dies there is technically entitled to a state funeral. If they see you looking a bit sick they carry you out quickly." He added: "You can see the sense in the 1279 law banning people from wearing armour to Parliament. It is not supposed to be a violent place." At number seven on the list is a law, the Royal Prerogative 1324, that decrees that any whale or sturgeon found on the British coast belongs to the monarch. The law is very much still in place, as fisherman Robert Davies found out in 2004 when he was investigated by police in Plymouth. He had faxed the Royal Household to tell them he had caught a sturgeon, and was told to keep it, but did not realise it was still illegal to try and sell it. Eventually no charges were brought. Other laws on the list include Oliver Cromwell's decree from around 1644 to combat gluttony by banning people from eating mince pies on Christmas Day and the revelation that, according to an old London bye-law, a pregnant woman can relieve herself anywhere she wants - including in a policeman's helmet. Not everyone is happy about that. There is currently a petition on the Downing Street website calling on Gordon Brown to take that right away from pregnant women, calling it "an insult to male police officers". The survey, carried out by television channel UKTV Gold, also asked people to comment on some of the more absurd international laws. Top of that list was a local bye-law from Ohio in the US, that banned residents from getting a fish drunk. These are the stupidest laws, according to percentage share of public vote. Most ridiculous British laws: 1. It is illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament (27%) 2. It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside-down (7%) 3. In Liverpool, it is illegal for a woman to be topless except as a clerk in a tropical fish store (6%) 4. Mince pies cannot be eaten on Christmas Day (5%) 5. In Scotland, if someone knocks on your door and requires the use of your toilet, you must let them enter (4%) 6. In the UK a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a policeman's helmet (4%) 7. The head of any dead whale found on the British coast automatically becomes the property of the King, and the tail of the Queen (3.5%) 8. It is illegal not to tell the tax man anything you do not want him to know, but legal not to tell him information you do not mind him knowing (3%) 9. It is illegal to enter the Houses of Parliament in a suit of armour 10. In the city of York it is legal to murder a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow (2%) And amongst the most ridiculous foreign laws: In Ohio, it is illegal to get a fish drunk (9%) In Switzerland, a man may not relieve himself standing up after 10pm (6%) In Alabama, it is illegal to be blindfolded while driving a vehicle (6%) In Florida, unmarried women who parachute on a Sunday could be jailed (6%) In Vermont, women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth (6%) In Milan, it is a legal requirement to smile at all times, except funerals or hospital visits (5%) In Japan, there is no age of consent (5%) In France, it is illegal to name a pig Napoleon (4%)

After all that, you don’t need any jokes this week!

Love to you all,

Greg

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