Good News! I forgot to tell you last weekend that there will be no edition of the Befouled Weakly News this weekend! We are off to visit our friends Sue and Stuart down near Brighton on the south coast and, I gather, that Stuart has organised some sort of amusement/diversion which will no doubt keep us amused and/or diverted on Saturday evening.

But, even better news! I also forgot to tell you last weekend that there will be no edition of the Befouled Weakly News on the following week either! Now what could be better than that!

We are off next Friday to the south of France for a week visiting with Joe Jefferies (the son of our very dear friend Jan and with whom we went cycling a few years ago) and touring the Languedoc-Roussillon region. Think Carcassonne, Béziers, Montpellier, Perpignan and you are in the right area. Herewith, a couple of photographs to whet the appetite.

Béziers Carcassonne

No doubt we shall be compelled to visit the odd winery and sample the produce of the area. It turns out that the Languedoc-Roussillon region has something like 740,300 acres of vineyards, three times the combined area of the vineyards in Bordeaux. It also turns out that something like one bottle of wine in ten produced during the 20th century came from this area. So, while I may not be able to drink the region dry we'll certainly give it a go.

Ran across the following on the BBC web site in the week. You have to hand it to some people, I guess. If you are going to try something stupid at least aim high.

US man seeks change for $1m note A man who handed over a counterfeit million-dollar bill to a cashier at a Pittsburgh supermarket and asked for change has been arrested. Police told the BBC the man became abusive when a manager at the Giant Eagle store confiscated the fake note. He broke an electronic funds-transfer machine at the counter and reached for a scanner gun, said police. There is no real US bill worth $1m (£490,000). Since 1969, the $100 note has been the highest in circulation. The man walked into the store on the north side of Pittsburgh on Saturday evening. After refusing to give his name to police, the suspect, who was not carrying identification, was charged with forgery and criminal mischief. Pittsburgh police spokeswoman Diane Richard told the BBC News website: "The John Doe [unidentified male] became irate when staff refused to change his $1m bill and damaged a piece of equipment. Officers arrested him." He was detained at Allegheny County Jail. Police are investigating whether the bogus note was among a batch distributed last year as a publicity stunt by a Dallas-based religious ministry.

Which reminds me, I must get some Euros for our expedition to France.

Tout mon amour et au revoir

Greg

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A man walks into a bar and asks for two shots -- one for him and another for his little buddy.

Bartender says, "Sure. Do you want them both now, or do you want me to wait 'til your buddy gets here first?"

The guy says, "Oh I want them both now -- I've got my best buddy in my pocket right here -- it's my little Willie!"

The bartender figures he's been had by a pervert and is about to throw the man out when he pulls out a 6-inch-tall man and puts him on the table.

The bartender was astonished. "Do you mean to say he can drink a whole drink?"

"Sure, he can drink it all. Pour it on."

Sure enough, the bartender watches in amazement as the little guy drinks down two full shots.

"That's amazing! Can he walk?"

The guy flicks a coin and says, "Hey, Willie, go get the coin, OK?" and Willie runs off after it.

"Unreal," the bartender says, having never seen anything like this in his life. "Can he do anything else? Can he talk?"

"Well of course he can!" the man says. "Hey Willie -- tell the bartender about the time you called that witch doctor a 'dickhead'...."

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A blonde is walking down a creek. While she's looking around she notices Judi walking along the other side of the creek. She yells to the other blonde. "Hey, how do I get to the other side?"

Judi replies, "You are on the other side!"

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Since another church member, Bonnie, had mentioned that she and her husband were struggling with a big decision on whether they should become missionaries, my friend offered to include them on the prayer list.

So at the meeting, my friend announced in front of the whole congregation, "Let's all pray that Bonnie and Lee can make a decision about the missionary position."

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A wife and her husband attended a very important business party thrown by her boss where the husband may have had one or two more than he should have.

On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, "Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and totally irresistible to all women you are?"

"Why no," said the husband, deeply flattered.

"Then what gave you that idea at the party?!" she yelled.