The Befouled Weakly News

8 July 2007

We have four items to report on today: (1) We saw the sun, (2) Pen, J and Judith Klinkenberg hike the Battlefields Trail, (3) Pete Taylor gets a mention on Wednesday Night Baseball on Channel 5 and (4) our favourite diplomat entertains royalty in Liberia. And that’s not to mention that the final pieces of the Sanford and Father Reunion jigsaw seem to be falling into place. It never rains but it pours might be a suitable headline for this week’s Befouled Weakly News.

Yes, we finally saw the sun on Saturday and today looks like it might be tantalizingly similar. We did have a false start on Wednesday morning (I think it was Wednesday) when there was a kind of golden sheen to the morning but that quickly vanished and we were provided with what has become normal around here – rain followed by a deluge followed by a downpour followed by just a bit more rain. But yesterday was a fine, largely clear day with only a few showers so it looks like we have a few more days to complete the ark after all. However, you will be delighted to know that the weather toolbar on my browser is once again showing rain for Monday and indeed it is showing rain for this afternoon. So, if I am to get that bike ride in I’ll have to set off soon.

It was fortuitous that the weather was mainly fine yesterday as Ms Playchute had arranged with her sister J and her friend Judith Klinkenberg from Wellesbourne, to hike part of the Battlefields Trail which runs from Chipping Warden just down the road from us across to Kineton, just past Radway in Warwickshire. It’s a twenty mile hike across the fields visiting the sites of three major battlefields in English history – Edgecote in the Wars of the Roses (1469), Cropredy Bridge (1644) and Edgehill (1642) in the English Civil War. Edgecote, of course, is one of our favourite walks which starts about three miles down the road in the village of Chipping Warden which is where I dropped the girls and Molly at about half past nine in the morning. At about six o’clock I received the phone call asking that I come and collect them from Warmington, not all that far away as the crow flies but about twelve miles across hill and dale through brambles and stinging nettles the way the route takes them. So, only just over eight miles to go from Warmington to Kineton on another fine sunny day at some point in the future – perhaps next summer then. You can download a leaflet which includes a map and some descriptions of the various battlefields here if you are remotely interested.

As we know, our pal Pete is back on the road again and is currently in San Francisco for the All Star festivities. Every so often during his expedition, I have sent an e-mail up to Channel 5 which broadcasts the Sunday and Wednesday night baseball games from ESPN on British television. Pete also has sent various e-mails and even postcards from all the games he has witnessed but so far he’s never had a mention. On last Sunday’s broadcast they were explaining how they were going to be at the All Star game and so I e-mailed one more time outlining what Pete was doing. Imagine my delight and surprise when they read it out on Wednesday night’s programme and, when they got to the part about Pete having secured tickets to the All Star game they announced that they would try and get in touch with him and interview him during the game. Regrettably, of course, it won’t be on your broadcast of the game but hopefully they will catch up with him and we will be able to see it here. If so, I’ll let you know and, if possible, capture it and get it up on Google Video for your amusement. You can catch the e-mail being read out using the video player to the right.

And finally, our favourite diplomat has been extremely busy over the past few days and weeks. Normally, I have to pick up on his activities via a Google news watch but this week I had an e-mail from him with the following attachment:

UN Deputy Envoy calls for literacy campaign in Liberia as Duchess of York visits
Monrovia, Liberia

The Deputy Special Representative of the Secretary-General (DSRSG) and Officer-in-Charge of the UN Mission in Liberia Mr. Jordan Ryan, has called for a “nationwide campaign so that everyone in Liberia would be able to read and write.” Mr. Ryan was speaking at the dedication ceremony for a newly constructed school in Perry Town, Montserrado County, on the outskirts of the capital Monrovia, attended by the visiting Duchess of York.

The Sean Devereux Community School was built through an initiative by UNMIL’s Quick Impact Projects (QIP) to accommodate more than 300 children and to provide skills training for men and women of the community.Stressing the need for educating Liberian women, Mr. Ryan further stated, “Every woman who voted with a thumb in the last election should be able to sign her name in the next.” He also commended the Government for its efforts in prioritizing the issue of women and girls education.

At the event, special guest, Sarah, Duchess of York, in her remarks said Liberia was now at peace and “should not be forgotten” because of the present preoccupation with ongoing conflicts elsewhere. She further observed that the Liberian Government was “determined to make a difference and get the country back to its former condition through training and educating its children and young people”.

The Duchess of York has been in Liberia for two days exploring ways of providing humanitarian assistance to Liberians. She held meetings with UNMIL and Government officials, and with civil society organizations, among others. Also present at the ceremony was Liberia’s Education Minister, Dr. Joseph Korto, who highlighted some of the challenges facing the Government, especially the need to provide education opportunities for the entire Liberian population. “Only 50 per cent of those who need to be in school are able to attend,” he said.The Sean Devereux Community School was established in memory of former missionary and UNICEF staff member who lost his life in service to peace in Mogadishu, Somalia, in 1993. He had previously worked in Liberia for more than four years.

The dedication ceremony was also attended by a number of UNMIL, Government and county officials, as well as by members of civil society organizations.

I remember with affection a t-shirt produced by the Clampers a number of years ago on the occasion of the Queen’s visit to Santa Barbara. It had a picture of Koo Stark (at the time one of Prince Andrew’s girlfriends who had a reputation as being an actress in a number of somewhat “artistic” films) and a statement about royalty suffering a number of indignities (I am sure Dad can remember the exact expression). Well, Fergie continued Prince Andrew’s penchant for less than desirable companions – I wonder to what extent Jordan can confirm or deny her reputation as “a bit of a goer.” Knowing Jordan, of course, there would be a diplomatic, “No comment.”

Love to you all,


From Dad:

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli (E. coli)bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, beer or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop
Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit!

Also from Dad – the shortest story ever told:

A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were: The story had to contain the following three themes: religion, sexuality and mystery. The only A+ short story in the whole class was:

“Good God! I am pregnant. I wonder who did it?”

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to Make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

1. Show up naked
2. Bring beer

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