The Befouled Weakly News

1 July 2007

Well, it's still raining and the weather toolbar at the top of my browser, which tells me at a glance what the weather is doing outside (saves me having to turn to look out the window), seems to have been stuck on rain, rain, rain all day every day for the past three weeks. I am seriously beginning to think it is broken except that the date changes and indeed when I do turn to look out the window all I can see is the depressing sight of rain sheeting down. I kid you not – please send inflatable dinghies, water wings and anything else buoyant you might have to hand – the Ark will not be finished in time. As I said last time, the fish are loving it but not much else.

The rain has caused some not inconsiderable chaos in the UK. Only a country which regularly gets large quantities of rain could be as singularly unprepared as the British. I think there have been five people killed over the past week or so in floods and a reservoir near Sheffield was in danger of failing which led to the evacuation of hundreds of homes and the closure of the M1 motorway which passes within about a mile or so of the aforementioned dam.

Still, the proponents of Swamp Football will undoubtedly be delighted with the recent rainfall although it looks as if they held their championships a few weeks early. This from the BBC a few weeks ago:

'Swamp soccer' teams play dirty

More than 1,500 football fans swamped a Scottish town to enjoy the beautiful game in the mud.

An international field of players descended upon Dunoon, Argyll, to take part in Scotland 's second-ever Swamp Soccer tournament.

The craze has already swept Sweden, Iceland, Holland, Russia and Brazil.

Forty-eight teams of mud-loving men and women - double the number of last year - are taking part in the six-a-side competition this weekend.

Swamp Soccer UK is open to anyone over the age of 17. Players compete on a wet bog and games are played in two 13-minute halves.

The muddy game, which originated in Finland in 1998, has now grown to be a world championship event.

Stewart Miller, founder of the Scottish event, said the recent spate of wet weather had actually helped make the day more enjoyable.

"It's one of the few outdoor sporting events where bad weather actually makes the conditions better," he said.

He said that around 500 players and substitutes had turned up from as far afield as Australia and New Zealand to participate in the two-day event.

A further 1,000 people turned up during the day to watch the fun, he estimated. The finals will be held on Sunday.

And apparently, the final was won by the appropriately named Fuddy Muckers. You Tube has a clip from the BBC which will give you a feel for the weather conditions we have been enjoying.

At least those who congregated in Seattle this past weekend didn't have their enjoyment spoiled by the rain. I am, of course, referring to the Webb class of '69 mini-reunion held at the Seattle Mariners – Cincinnati Reds baseball game on Sunday which saw Rick Robertson, Miles Rosedale, Trey Shonnard and even Todd Rosenberg (along with their respective wives and/or girlfriends) gather along with Susie, Emily and David Keeler to join our pal Pete as he continues his expedition following his enforced sabbatical in Albuquerque. While I gather it did rain (how could it not rain in Seattle?) the baseball stadium has a roof which can be closed to ensure the baseball continues unabated. Now there's a town which is prepared for the rain. Why don't we erect a roof to cover the entire British Isles? Susie sent the attached which was taken by Emily.

We could award prizes for being able to name the entire row but Susie would clearly have somewhat of an in-built advantage. So, to save you the trouble of scratching your head and wondering they are, from left to right: David, Susie, Trey Shonnard, Will Robertson (Rick's six year old), Nani (Trey's girlfriend), our pal Pete, Miles and his fiancé Alexandra, Jo Vanderlee (Rick's wife) and Rick.

Last week's effort to embarrass those who have not yet placed their reservations for the Huletts Reunion of Sanford & Father's 30 years elicited some success. We heard from “Outraged in Redwood” who has now confirmed her arrival and departure times. We also heard from “Hung Over in Hanover ” who confirmed that he and his entourage would also be in attendance and we even heard from “Pissed Off in Portland ” who confirmed that David had narrowly escaped the tedium of yet another family reunion by hastily organising an expedition to Japan during the critical period – smart boy. Ms Pissed Off still was not, however, able to confirm the dates when she will be able to join us nor was she able to give any indication as to whether Emily would succeed in her efforts to find something (anything) marginally less mind-numbingly dull.

And finally, while we are enjoying all our liquid sunshine, I guess our favourite diplomat is unlikely to be enduring unseasonably wet and windy weather. The following from the Liberian Times this week:

Liberia: UN Envoy assures of more support for Liberian police and criminal justice system
Jun 25, 2007
by UNMIL Press Release / UN Press

Mr. Ryan congratulates a Bangladeshi Police officer after awarding him the peacekeeping medal

Monrovia, Liberia - “Our goals for the LNP [Liberia National Police] are being realized because of your hard work to make it a more adaptive and competent police service,” said UN Mission in Liberia (UNMIL) Officer-in-Charge, Mr. Jordan Ryan, during a recent ceremony to award UN peacekeeping medals to members of the Bangladeshi police contingent.

Expressing appreciation for the work the joint Liberian and UNMIL police and military forces were undertaking to ensure that Liberia was safe, Mr. Ryan emphasized that UNMIL would continue to support the LNP and the criminal justice system of Liberia to tackle crime.

You can read all about it here.

Now, where did I put my swimming goggles?

Love to you all,

Greg


I hope our Steph has never had this difficulty:

Working at an airline ticket counter, I pulled up a passenger's reservation that showed his name as "Cole, Pheven."

"I'd like to be certain our information is correct," I said to him. "What is your first name?"

"It's Stephen," he replied. "I hope the reservation agent got it right. I told him it's spelled with a ph."


Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives.

Finally Pete invited Larry to visit him in his new apartment. "I got a wife and three kids and I'd love to have you visit us."

"Great. Where do you live?"

"Here's the address. And there's plenty of parking behind the apartment. Park and come around to the front door, kick it open with your foot, go to the elevator and press the button with your left elbow, then enter! When you reach the sixth floor, go down the hall until you see my name on the door. Then press the doorbell with your right elbow and I'll let you in."

"Good. But tell me...what is all this business of kicking the front door open, then pressing elevator buttons with my right, then my left elbow?"

"Surely, you're not coming empty-handed."


Mrs. O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty.

"Hello," said the Father, "And how is Mrs. O'Donovan, didn't I marry you two years ago?"

"You did that, Father."

"And are there any little ones yet?"

"No, not yet, Father." Said she.

"Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, and I'll light a candle for you."

"Thank-you, Father." And away she went.

A few years later they met again.

"Well now, Mrs. O'Donovan," said the Father, "how are you?"

"Oh, very well," said she.

"And tell me," he said, "have you any little ones yet?"

"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles - ten in all."

"Now isn't that wonderful," he said "And how is your lovely husband?"

"Oh," she said, "he's over in Rome to blow that bloody candle out!"


After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, "You wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The person replies, "I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke?"

The man thinks for a while and replies, "Not if I have to explain it three times."


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