The Great Restaurant Ramble Reprise – 2007
Some of us, i.e. Grandpa’s wallet and my waistline, are relieved that the Great Restaurant Ramble Reprise – 2007 is almost at a conclusion. We have already notified British Airways that we shall need to have two seats each on our flight home and have also taken out an unsecured loan to pay the excess weight charges which will arise this trip.
As some of you will know, Grandpa had created an itinerary of epicurean high spots around New England roughly based around the proximity of grandchildren in college and an old school friend in Connecticut. Much research had been carried out on the ‘net and, as well as the usual good and edifying cultural expedition, the itinerary was punctuated by a number of outstanding restaurants in which we could enjoy lunch or dinner. After all, traveling with Greg and Penny is hungry work.
The ramble began before we had even begun the actual rambling. We started our culinary expedition at Carpaccio’s, a new Italian restaurant in Hanover which came highly recommended by Steph and Hope (http://www.carpacciohanover.com). Never being one to turn down a good meal whether part of the official Restaurant Ramble itinerary or not, Carpaccio’s was indeed elegant and excellent – Steph and Hope say that it is a significant step up from the usual fare in Hanover and particularly better than their previous favourite, Wendy’s.
We started the Ramble officially with Emily in Middletown who kindly took time out of her busy schedule to accommodate our ingestion needs. Lunch was at the Baker’s Brew on Main Street in Middletown, a delightful sandwich and soup place where the choice was, as usual, overwhelming – when we arrived the place was deserted; when we finished placing our order there was a queue of starving citizens stretching out to the sidewalk, most of whom were muttering not quite under their breath at the dreadful Brits who were incapable of making a choice given the multitude of options available. Even once you had, in fact, made your choice of sandwich, you then had to choose from rye, wheat or fluffy white bread – an absolute nightmare!
Em had to leave for a class before we had quite finished and, as she was leaving, she ran into a couple of friends. Greetings and pleasantries were exchanged and after the formalities of these, one friend asked Em who she had been eating with. Emily pointed over to the table and said that she had been having lunch with her grandparents whereupon the friends looked over and received a collection of somewhat demented smiles and waves from those of us still stuffing our faces. “Wow, both sets of grandparents?” one of them asked. Fortunately, this caused Emily to burst out laughing as she explained that the other, much, much, younger couple were, in fact, her aunt and uncle although it’s easy to see how her friends could have been confused.
During the afternoon we were able to enjoy Emily’s guided tour of the hotspots of Wesleyan University which seemed to consist particularly of her favourite site on campus – the compost bins at the Longlane Farm which is where the attached was taken, the camera delicately balanced on a rubbish bin to capture the five of us.
Dinner was at the Tuscany Grill on College Street (http://www.tuscany-grill.com) which was excellent. It is located in the apparently historic Middlesex Opera House building and had an excellent ambience and very good food. For some reason Grandma became fixated with the Gents restroom which was located just behind our table and directly in her line of vision – every time someone entered or exited the facility she had an excellent view and gave us a detailed description of all aspects of both the interior of the facility and the accouterments of all the participants. Regrettably, Em had to leave early (again), this time for a Gospel singing class (what kids can do these days to get college credit!). By this time we were beginning to wonder whether all these classes really existed or whether Em was simply fed up with having to explain that Pen and I were not her other set of grandparents.
After a very pleasant stay in an adjacent motel we joined Em again for a much-needed breakfast at one of the student cafés (where again the complexities of the ordering process and the multitude of options available resulted in the development of a queue several miles into the distance whilst the Brits dithered over their choices. In fact, the lady taking the order became so frustrated by our indecision that when Grandma tried to change her order of pastry her request was steadfastly refused. Fortunately, I was happy to order what she had eventually decided she wanted and eat what she had originally ordered so everything worked out well in the end.) Eventually, well-fed and watered we set off on the road to Mystic Connecticut and the Seaport Museum there. For lunch, naturally.
I am afraid you will have to wait another week for the next installment of the Ramble including such highlights as:
| how a description of our good friend Pete Taylor’s baseball odyssey around the United States secured us a table inside of twenty seconds; a very welcome visit with Molly the golden Labrador retriever on the occasion of her eleventh birthday; a most informative, enlightening and amusing tour of the Wadsworth Atheneum Museum of Art in Hartford, Connecticut and the discovery that Grandma is Pop Art; and a chance meeting with Sandy’s midget brother. |
Until then,
Love to you all,
Greg
An Irishman went to London for a visit to the zoo. While there, he saw a man with an elephant act. The man claimed the elephant could look at person and tell that person's age. The Irishman was very sceptical and said so, in no uncertain terms. The man had the elephant look at a small boy and the elephant stamped its foot 9 times. "Is that right?" he asked the boy.
"Oh yes." the boy said.
The Irishman was very loud, in his not believing that this was true. The man asked the elephant to tell the ages of several people, and each time the elephant stamped his foot and the people said he was correct.
The Irishman got even louder and more abusive toward the man. Finally the man could take it no longer and wagered the Irishman that the elephant could look at him and tell him his age. The Irishman took him up on the wager. The elephant looked real close at the Irishman, turned around, raised his tail and cut wind like you wouldn't believe, turned back around and stomped his foot twice.
Whereupon the Irishman stumbled back and with a sound of disbelief in his voice cried, "BeGabbers, he's right! Farty-two!"
A beautiful young blonde woman was appearing in court to face a public disorder charge. When her name was called out in the court foyer, she brushed her hair, checked her make-up, took a deep breath, and walked into the court and took to the witness stand.
The charges were read out, and she was asked how she pleaded.
"Not guilty," the blonde answered emphatically.
The prosecutor then approached the blonde and said, "Is it true that on the 11th of December last year you committed acts of gross indecency with a one-legged dwarf who was waving a union jack on the roof of a car, whilst travelling at over 100 mph through the centre of London in a blizzard and you were totally nude?"
The blonde composed herself, looked straight at the prosecution council and calmly said, "What was the date again?"
A young, well-educated man on his first business trip gets on a plane to find himself seated next to an older, weathered man in a western snap shirt, faded jeans and a cowboy hat. Thinking himself above the old cowboy, the young man decides to make sport of him.
"You know," he says, "I've heard these flights go much more quickly if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger. So, let's talk."
The cowboy looks at him and says, "Well I s'pose that'd be all right. What'd ya like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," says the young man with a hint of sarcasm. "How about nuclear proliferation?"
"Hmm," says the cowboy, sensing the young man's attempt to belittle him. "That could be an interesting topic. But, let me ask you a question first: horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff--- grass. Yet, a deer passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?"
Dumbfounded, the young man replies, "I haven't the slightest idea."
"So tell me then," says the cowboy with a knowing smile, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss geopolitics when you don't know shit?"
I think we’ve had this before or something very like it.
Differences between men and women
1. NAMES
If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara.
If Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.
2. EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
3. MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need, but it's on sale.
4. BATHROOMS
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
5. ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that... is the beginning of a new argument.
6.CATS
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
7. DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
8. FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
9. SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
10. MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
Back to the Befouled Weakly News Index
Back to Greg's Temporary Home Page