Good morning on a somewhat cloudy and overcast morning in beautiful downtown Byfield., a bit of drizzle but fairly warm and temperate for the time of year. And “Happy New Year” to everyone! It seems ages ago that we struggled into 2007 but certainly everyone’s current mantra seems to be to wish everyone a Happy New Year so I suppose we should too. We made it, I think, to Paris. I say, “I think” because it probably came in the fuzzy period between semi-consciousness and deep slumber. All I can say for certain is that we certainly did not make it as far as New Year in the UK and, for the first time in all the years we’ve been here, I think, we were not awakened at midnight by the fireworks over the recreation ground. I have to guess that they didn’t happen this year probably because of the high winds and rain which created the arrival of the new year. I did read that a number of public fireworks displays had to be cancelled because of the high winds and I can only imagine that’s what happened to ours. As I think I have related before, there is a chap in the village who manufactures them so our display is always something to behold. I cannot imagine he didn’t offer to put on the usual display this year (heck, he never misses an opportunity on any other occasion) so its absence must have been down to the inclement weather. Either that or his neighbours have finally thumped him for having their nights disrupted on so many occasions in the past. We watched King Kong on television last night – it finally made it on to one of the satellite movie channels. I thought it was moderately good fun and the special effects were sensational. However, I couldn’t help but wonder how fortuitous it turned out that Naomi Watts, who plays the heroine Ann Darrow, was captured by the wicked, evil natives of Skull Island, in the middle of the night so that she spent the whole of the time on the island dressed in a skimpy negligee. Naturally, this was particular important when she was plunged in rivers to emerge in a dripping wet, clinging, skimpy negligee. I wonder why that was? Then, even better in some ways, (although not quite as exciting as a wet, clinging, skimpy negligee) during the whole of the final scene in New York city when Kong escapes and creates havoc throughout the city, she is dressed in a light, sleeveless dress. Nothing wrong with that (except, as I say, it’s not a wet, clinging, skimpy negligee) except for the fact that it is mid-winter and the streets and sidewalks are covered with snow. Every other character is wearing a heavy overcoat, gloves and some sort of winter hat but, for some reason, the Ann Darrow character is perfectly comfortable in a light, sleeveless dress. I suppose that’s Hollywood!
One of my Google watches revealed this week that our dear friend Jordan Ryan has received an award for his work in helping Liberia back on the road to recovery. The main part of the article is as follows: Liberia Honours UN for Key Role in War-Torn Country's Recovery "Our nation owes its gratitude to you, Mr. Doss, for the leadership you have exhibited in bringing this team together, in keeping it together, in getting the kinds of responses that has enabled us to be where we are today," President Ellen Johnson-Sirleaf told Secretary-General Kofi Annan's Special Representative Alan Doss during the festive event held in the coastal city of Buchanan in the south-east. Mr. Annan's Deputy Special Representative for Recovery and Good Governance Jordan Ryan was similarly honoured at the ceremony, attended by traditional leaders, government officials and members of the public. And finally.... This from the BBC web site this morning: 'Wacky warnings' rewarded in US The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch says the tendency of Americans to sue companies has gone too far, encouraging absurd warning labels on products. But others say warning labels can play a role in protecting the public. An engine manufacturer which warned "Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level" won second prize. Excessive litigation Warnings not to dry wet mobile phones in microwave ovens and not to iron lottery tickets tied for third place. Honourable mentions went to a phonebook which advised: "Please do not use this directory while operating a moving vehicle". The Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch (M-Law) is campaigning to cut down on what it considers the harmful effects of excessive litigation in the United States. The winning labels were selected by listeners of a Detroit radio station from a list compiled by M-Law. The group began the Wacky Warning Labels contest 10 years ago as part of its campaign to have "common sense warnings on products", M-Law says on its website. But a spokesperson from the washing machine maker whose label bagged top prize, said its warning is valid. "A front loader (washing machine) is just at the right height - speaking now as a mother and not a corporate spokeswoman - for a four-year-old," said Patti Andresen Shew of Alliance Laundry Systems. She said other companies had been sued after small children had climbed into washing machines which had then been started. As they say, you couldn’t make it up. Love to you all, Greg
A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender's face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this." Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the man see an analyst about his problem. "I happen to have the name of a psychoanalyst," the bartender said. "My brother and my wife have both been treated by him, and they say he's as good as they come." The man wrote down the name of the doctor, thanked the bartender, and left. The bartender smiled, knowing he'd done a good deed for a fellow human being. Six months later, the man was back. "Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, serving the glass of white wine. "I certainly did," the man said. "I've been seeing the psychoanalyst twice a week." He took a sip of the wine. Then he threw the remainder into the bartender's face. The flustered bartender wiped his face with a towel. "The doctor doesn't seem to be doing you any good," he sputtered. "On the contrary," the man said, "he's done me world of good." "But you threw the wine in my face again!" the bartender exclaimed. "Yes," the man said. "But it doesn't embarrass me anymore." This sounds very reminiscent of what our mother’s experience must have been. The autumn I was eight months pregnant with our first child, we moved into a new community. Soon after our arrival, a lady came to the door one day collecting for charity as well as looking for more canvassers. I told her to ask me again next year. A year later the woman returned, but again I was eight months pregnant. With a chuckle, she promised to try another time. Somehow I missed her the following autumn, and she came instead in February, canvassing for another charity and hoping to get more volunteers. She looked at my bulging form in disbelief and exclaimed, "Every time I come here, you're pregnant!' "I know," I agreed. "Please don't come any more." After waiting more than an hour and a half for her date, the young lady decided she had been stood up. She changed from her dinner dress into pyjamas and slippers, fixed some popcorn and resigned herself to an evening of TV. No sooner had she flopped down in front of the TV than her doorbell rang. There stood her date. He took one look at her and gasped, "I'm two hours late, and you're still not ready?" For centuries, the English have had a love affair with all types of hunting. Early one morning, a fellow was blasting away at a clump of brush on a grouse hunt. Suddenly an outraged gentleman appeared and said "See here old man, you almost shot my wife with that volley." The hunter, properly shamed replied, "So sorry old chap. Here, have a go at mine, over there." Back to the Befouled Weakly News Index Back to Greg's Temporary Home Page
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