One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism.<\/p>\n
Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she slipped her arm around her husband.<\/p>\n
“A penny for your thoughts,” she said.<\/p>\n
“It’s amazing!” he replied. “I just can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for only $46.50.”<\/p>\n
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble they were having in the apartment building where they lived.<\/p>\n
The judge, with Solomon-like wisdom decreed, “I’ll hear the oldest first.”<\/p>\n
The case was closed for lack of evidence.<\/p>\n
Like most husbands, I don’t like to hear Penny struggling with the housework. So, I turn up the volume on the television.<\/p>\n
Arriving at his residence the professor told his housekeeper, “Sarah, I’ve invited three of my students to dinner tonight at 6:30, but I think I’ll give them a half-hour’s grace.”<\/p>\n
“Professor, I’m as religious as the next person.” Sarah said shaking her head, “But even I think you’re over-doing it.”<\/p>\n
Two rural church deacons who were having a sociable beer in the local tavern when they saw their minister drive by and take a good long look at their pickup trucks parked outside.<\/p>\n
One deacon ducked down and said, “I hope the reverend didn’t see us or recognize my pickup.”<\/p>\n
The other replied indifferently, “What difference does it make. God knows we’re in here… and he’s the only one who counts.”<\/p>\n
The first deacon countered, “Yeah, but God won’t tell my wife.”<\/p>\n
A New York judge is ready to go through the day’s business and he is very rushed. The first case up involves an elderly Jewish gentleman with a long beard, payos, the works.<\/p>\n
The judge, without asking a question, says to the clerk: “Quick…get me a translator.”<\/p>\n
Translator shows up and the judge says: “Ask him what his name is, how old is he and where does he come from?”<\/p>\n
The translator says: “Die judge vilt vissen, vos is dein namen, vie alt bist du, and fun vie kumst du?”<\/p>\n
The old man smiles, looks at the judge and says in perfect English with a British accent: “Your Honour. My name is Sir Chaim Ginsbug. I shall be 82 next Thursday and I’ve come from England where I hold the chair of Hebrew Philosophy at Oxford University.”<\/p>\n
The translator turns to the judge and says: “Ehr zukt, ehr is Sir Chaim Ginsburg, ehr is tzwei und achtzig yur alt, und ehr is, mit sach Yiddish philisoph, areingekummen fun Oxford.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One night a wife found her husband standing over their baby’s crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking down at the sleeping infant, she saw on his face a mixture of emotions: disbelief, doubt, delight, amazement, enchantment, scepticism. Touched by this unusual display and the deep emotions it aroused, with eyes glistening she … <\/p>\n