Lewis’s wife on an airplane, strikes up a conversation with the geeky computer programmer sitting next to her.<\/p>\n
“Where are you going?” she asked.<\/p>\n
“I’m going to San Jose,” says the geek, “to a UNIX convention.”<\/p>\n
Later, Lewis picks his wife up at the airport.<\/p>\n
“How was the flight?” he asks.<\/p>\n
“OK, I guess,” she says. “I sat next to this guy I felt really sorry for.”<\/p>\n
“Why’d you feel sorry for him?”<\/p>\n
“He didn’t have any testicles.”<\/p>\n
“What!” Lewis was shocked. “And just how did you learn that?”<\/p>\n
“Because he said he was going to a eunuchs’ convention.”<\/p>\n
I was meeting a friend in a bar, and as I went in I noticed two pretty girls looking at me.<\/span><\/p>\n “Nine,” I heard one whisper as I passed.<\/p>\n Feeling pleased with myself, I swaggered over to my buddy and told him a girl had just rated me a nine out of ten.<\/p>\n “I don’t want to ruin it for you,” he said, “but when I walked in, they were speaking German.”<\/p>\n During my stay at an expensive hotel in New York City, I woke up in the middle of the night with an upset stomach. I called room service and ordered some soda crackers. When I looked at the charge slip, I was furious. I called room service and raged, “Hey, I know I’m in a luxury hotel, but $11.50 for six crackers borders on the ridiculous!”<\/p>\n “The crackers are complimentary,” the voice at the other end coolly explained. “I believe, sir, you are complaining about your room number.”<\/p>\n Two blondes drive into a lumberyard. The passenger gets out of the truck, walks up to a worker, and says she needs a bunch of four-by-twos.<\/span><\/p>\n “You mean two-by-fours?” the worker asks.<\/p>\n “Hm, I’m not sure,” the blonde says. “I’ll go check.”<\/p>\n She walks back to the truck, and the two blondes consult a book.<\/p>\n “Yeah,” she says after getting the answer. “I meant two-by-fours.”<\/p>\n “All right,” says the worker. “How long do you need them?”<\/p>\n This time, the sweet young thing didn’t even need to consult the book.<\/p>\n “A really long time,” she says. “We’re gonna build a house.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Lewis’s wife on an airplane, strikes up a conversation with the geeky computer programmer sitting next to her. “Where are you going?” she asked. “I’m going to San Jose,” says the geek, “to a UNIX convention.” Later, Lewis picks his wife up at the airport. “How was the flight?” he asks. “OK, I guess,” she … <\/p>\n
\n
\n