It’s the year 2070, and NASA finally manages to get a manned mission to Jupiter. While surveying the moons, they find evidence of life on the moon Europa and land to make First Contact.<\/p>\n
Sure enough, there’s a race of advanced beings there, and the two groups exchange huge amounts of information. Inevitably, the questions turn to sex.<\/p>\n
“How do you reproduce?” one of the NASA astronauts asks.<\/p>\n
The Europans are pleased to demonstrate. Two of them get together and touch tentacles in a special way. A moment later a sac appears on one of them, grows to the size of a basketball, and breaks open. A tiny tentacled baby pops out and falls to the ground, jumps up, and starts running around looking for its first meal.<\/p>\n
“Amazing!” exclaim the Earthlings.<\/p>\n
“So will you give us a demonstration of how you do it?” ask the aliens.<\/p>\n
The Earthlings can hardly refuse, so the commander asks for volunteers and a couple steps forward and demonstrates Earthly delights. The Europans are rapt with interested attention.<\/p>\n
When the couple finishes, however, the aliens are confused. “Where is the child?” they ask. “Or was the mating a failure?”<\/p>\n
“Well,” says the commander, “we don’t find out right away. If it was successful, it takes a month or two to find out, and the baby doesn’t show up for nine months after conception.”<\/p>\n
“Nine months?” asks the incredulous alien leader. “Then why were they in such a hurry at the end?”<\/p>\n
A gorgeous young blonde was visiting her new doctor for the first time.<\/p>\n
She was escorted to the small patient room and left alone to wait. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the examination.<\/p>\n
Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and the doctor stepped in.<\/p>\n
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.<\/p>\n
“Miss… uh…” he said, looking at the chart to get his eyes off her significant assets, “Smith!” he said, finally finding her name.<\/p>\n
“Yes, doctor?” the sweet young thang answered.<\/p>\n
“Ma’am,” he said, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s a classic but you\u2019ve got to smile:<\/p>\n
At a fabric store, a pretty girl spots a nice material for a dress and asks the male clerk: How much does it costs?<\/p>\n
\u201cOnly one kiss per yard,\u201d replied the male clerk with a smirk.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat\u2019s fine,\u201d said the girl. I\u2019ll take ten yards.\u201d<\/p>\n
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, and then teasingly held it out.<\/p>\n
The girl took the bag and pointed to the old man standing beside her, and smiled, \u201cGrandpa will pay the bill.\u201d<\/p>\n
It’s the year 2070, and NASA finally manages to get a manned mission to Jupiter. While surveying the moons, they find evidence of life on the moon Europa and land to make First Contact. Sure enough, there’s a race of advanced beings there, and the two groups exchange huge amounts of information. Inevitably, the questions … <\/p>\n