This came from brother Steph:<\/p>\n
A guy was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee when he received a text message.<\/p>\n
“Joe, I’m sorry.\u00a0 I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you.\u00a0 I know it’s no excuse, but I don’t get it at home.\u00a0 I can’t live with the guilt any longer and I hope you’ll accept my sincerest apology.\u00a0 It won’t happen again.”<\/p>\n
Feeling outraged and betrayed, Joe grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom, and without a word, shoots his wife.<\/p>\n
Moments later the guy gets a second text: “Really should use spell check!\u00a0 That should have said\u00a0\u00a0 ‘wifi’.”<\/p>\n
Dr. Phil was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children on his TV show. “You all have obsessions,” he observed.<\/p>\n
All denied being obsessed with anything. “You are — all of you!” he insisted.<\/p>\n
“You are obsessed with eating,” he said to the first mother. “You’ve even named your daughter Candy.”<\/p>\n
She hung her head in shame.<\/p>\n
He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is with money: Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”<\/p>\n
She gave a resigned nod.<\/p>\n
He turns to the third mom. “Your obsession is alcohol. This, too, manifests itself in your child’s name, Brandy.”<\/p>\n
She looked at her little girl with a tear in her eye.<\/p>\n
But before Dr. Phil could say another word, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and says, “Come on Dick, we’re leaving.”<\/p>\n
A guy is passing a Mental Hospital surrounded by a wall and he hears the chanting inside, Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!<\/p>\n
Curious to see what\u2019s going on he finds a small hole in the wall, so he bends and peeks inside.<\/p>\n
Someone inside pokes him hard in the eye and everyone starts inside chanting, Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This came from brother Steph: A guy was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee when he received a text message. “Joe, I’m sorry.\u00a0 I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess: I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you.\u00a0 I know it’s no … <\/p>\n