A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor’s, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door.<\/p>\n
“Is your Dad home?”<\/p>\n
“No sir, he isn’t; he went to town.”<\/p>\n
“Well, is your Mother here?”<\/p>\n
“No sir, she went to town with Dad.”<\/p>\n
“How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?”<\/p>\n
“No sir, he went with Mom and Dad.”<\/p>\n
The rancher stood there for a minute, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.<\/p>\n
“Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message for ya.”<\/p>\n
“Well,” said the rancher uncomfortably, “I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It’s about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzie pregnant.”<\/p>\n
The boy thought for a moment. “You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don’t know how much he charges for Howard.”<\/p>\n
*********************<\/p>\n
Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter.<\/p>\n
Ten men and one woman.<\/p>\n
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to let go, otherwise they would all fall.<\/p>\n
They weren’t able to choose that person until the woman gave a very touching speech.<\/p>\n
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope because, as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids, or for men in general, and was always making sacrifices with little in return.<\/p>\n
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping.<\/p>\n
*********************<\/p>\n
A businessman dragged himself home and barely made it to his chair before he dropped exhausted.<\/p>\n
His sympathetic wife was right there with a tall cool drink and a comforting word. “My, you look tired,” she said. “You must have had a hard day today. What happened to make you so exhausted?”<\/p>\n
“It was terrible,” her husband said. “The computer broke down and we all had to do our own thinking.”<\/p>\n
*********************<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A Missouri farmer in his pickup, drove to a neighbor’s, and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your Dad home?” “No sir, he isn’t; he went to town.” “Well, is your Mother here?” “No sir, she went to town with Dad.” “How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?” … <\/p>\n