A cop sees an older gentleman staggering slightly down the street. It’s 1:00 in the morning. He pulls over for a chat.<\/p>\n
“Good evening, sir,” the cop says. “Is everything OK?”<\/p>\n
“Why yes, officer, thank you,” the man says, speaking a bit thickly.<\/p>\n
“Where are you headed?” the cop asks.<\/p>\n
“I’m on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body,” the man says with certainty.<\/p>\n
“Sir, it’s 1:00 in the morning,” the cop says. “Who would be giving a lecture on that topic at this hour?”<\/p>\n
The man nods, looks the cop in the eye, and says, “My wife.”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
The young boy protested vigorously when his mother asked him to take his little sister along fishing. \u201cThe last time she came,\u201d he objected, \u201cI didn\u2019t catch a single fish.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ll talk to her,\u201d his mother said, \u201cand I promise this time she won\u2019t make any noise.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cIt wasn\u2019t the noise, Mom,\u201d the boy replied. \u201cShe ate all my bait.\u201d<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
An acquaintance of mine who is a physician told this story about her then-four-year-old daughter. On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. Be still, my heart, thought my friend, gee, my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps and be a doctor! Then the child spoke into the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?”<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
Mr. Trent always scheduled the weekly staff meeting for four thirty on Friday afternoons.<\/p>\n
When one of the employees finally got up the nerve to ask why, he explained. \u201cI will tell you why \u2026 I\u2019ve learned that\u2019s the only time of the week when none of you seem to want to argue with me.\u201d<\/p>\n
*************<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A cop sees an older gentleman staggering slightly down the street. It’s 1:00 in the morning. He pulls over for a chat. “Good evening, sir,” the cop says. “Is everything OK?” “Why yes, officer, thank you,” the man says, speaking a bit thickly. “Where are you headed?” the cop asks. “I’m on my way to … <\/p>\n