{"id":662,"date":"2011-04-24T09:20:06","date_gmt":"2011-04-24T08:20:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/wordpress\/?p=662"},"modified":"2011-04-24T09:20:06","modified_gmt":"2011-04-24T08:20:06","slug":"24-april-2011","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2011\/04\/24\/24-april-2011\/","title":{"rendered":"24 April 2011"},"content":{"rendered":"

Royal Wedding Special<\/h2>\n

\"Swallow\"Good morning and Happy Easter to you all. More signs of Spring \u2013 we had our first swallow sighting at 23 Banbury Road on Tuesday afternoon and the water companies issued the first drought warning of the season. I am guessing the hosepipe ban won\u2019t be far off.<\/p>\n

We are presuming that our first swallow is one of the early scouts checking out the area for suitable nesting locations prior to the arrival of the rest of the crowd. Presumably, he had a quick tour of the garage and the rest of the estate before swooping through the open front door to see what was on offer inside. After inspecting the various luxury suites available, he settled on the main guest room; he whooshed in, flew around, crapped on one of Penny\u2019s best pillow cases and, after some gentle persuasion, finally was encouraged to exit by way of the window. Later that afternoon a second swallow appeared (or perhaps it was the same one) and he too decided that the indoor accommodation was preferable to that available in the garage. This time it was our bedroom which was deemed to be the most luxurious lodging available and again, only after much encouragement, was he finally persuaded to vacate the premises. I\u2019ve now put a notice on the front door explaining that there is no spare indoor accommodation available. Then, on Thursday afternoon we were treated to an exhilarating \u201cdog-fight\u201d as three swallows raced and swooped around the skies, chattering at one another and clearly staking their respective claims to be the dominant swallow in the neighbourhood. It\u2019s great to have them back.<\/p>\n

As you might guess, our news has been dominated for the past several months by the upcoming royal wedding. Everywhere one is confronted with the images of \u201cWill and Kate\u201d to such an extent that a significant proportion of the UK, it seems, is mightily fed up with the whole event before it even kicks off. As it turns out, along with apparently tens of thousands of others, I shall \u201cunfortunately\u201d be out of the country on the big day enjoying this year\u2019s sometime, occasional trip to Hanover, New Hampshire.<\/p>\n

Even the weather forecasters are getting caught up with all the hype; they are being foolishly optimistic in their predictions for the Royal Wedding weekend. Last week there were several stories headlined \u201cHot and Sunny for Royal Wedding\u201d so we shall see how this compares to their similarly confident prediction of a \u201cBarbeque Summer\u201d in 2009 (which turned out to be one of the most miserable summers we\u2019ve endured).<\/p>\n

To be fair, this week has been glorious \u2013 warm (not particularly hot but it is only mid-April), with mainly clear and sunny skies. While it\u2019s not quite on a par with Donna\u2019s posting of the Los Angeles weather forecast<\/a> earlier this year, the following from the BBC web site earlier in the week should give you an indication of how pleasant it has been. Given the forecaster\u2019s track record with longer term predictions, is the announcement of a hot and sunny royal weekend intended to open the heavens and usher in our much-delayed (and indeed missing) April showers? We\u2019ll let you know.<\/p>\n

\"Weather<\/p>\n

Still, there is nothing like a royal wedding to encourage the production of royal memorabilia, some of which is truly \u201coutstanding\u201d. It seems that the Palace had tried to discourage the production of some of the less-flattering items but I guess some of the recent antics of some members of \u201cthe Firm\u201d have encouraged producers to adopt a somewhat less reverential attitude than in days gone by. (And, in these more modern times it\u2019s unlikely that anyone will be sent to the Tower).<\/p>\n

I had a request from a friend in the States (who shall remain nameless, for the time being anyway but not altogether unrelated to Miles Rosedale) for a parcel of royal wedding commemorative goodies and have managed to accumulate a collection of some truly excellent items. Amongst the wonderful commemorative articles I have collected are:<\/p>\n

\"Royal<\/a><\/p>\n

Royal Wedding Sick Bags<\/p>\n

\"Steve<\/a><\/p>\n

Steve Bell Royal Wedding Mug<\/p>\n

\"Royal<\/a>Royal Wedding Cut Up and Dress Up Book<\/p>\n

\"Royal<\/a>Royal Wedding Masks<\/p>\n

and my favourite . . .<\/p>\n

\"Royal<\/a>Royal Wedding Condoms<\/p>\n

Continuing our royal theme, I was on the throne the other day leafing through the current Private Eye which had a collection of what they called \u201cWedding Balls\u201d, an assortment of snippets from suppliers trying to incorporate the royal wedding into their advertisements for utterly unrelated products or services. Fancy a few examples?<\/p>\n

\u201cKate and Wills or spades and drills? Huge range of products for Spring at Rapid . . . Still waiting for your wedding invite? Looks like you will have to make other plans. Whatever you are up to during the extended Spring holidays, Rapid have a huge range of products to choose from, including automotive equipment, gardening gear, hand and power tools, from leading brands.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Email advertisement from Rapid Electronics, 19 March<\/p>\n

\u201cJoin in Royal Wedding Celebrations Offer \u2013 Why Not Take Up This Amazing Offer fFrom Metro Rod . . . A 4 hr clean of your drainage system, from the urinals\/sinks\/toilets or the main underground drains. You decide what\u2019s more important for you. \u00a3300 + VAT\u201d<\/em> \u2013 MetroRod Drain Care and Repair (circulated early March)<\/p>\n

\u201cA limited-edition range of red, white and blue seed potatoes has been launched to commemorate the royal wedding. Gardeners can mark the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton by growing the patriotic potatoes, which comprise Highland Burgundy Rds, British Queens and Salad Blues.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 Horticulture Week, 25 March<\/p>\n

I love the idea that I can have my drains rodded and cleaned in celebration of Will and Kate\u2019s special day!<\/p>\n

And although it\u2019s not specifically related to the Royal Wedding, I did find the following description of McWeddings<\/a>, from the New York Times, amusing:<\/p>\n

\u201cMcWeddings were devised in line with local customs,\u201d Managing Director Shirley Chang told reporters at a branch of McDonalds in Hong Kong, \u201cparticularly Chinese numerology. On arrival, our employees greet each guest with a Big Mac and fries, and there is an apple pie wedding cake, with a single fry on top instead of the traditional cherry. After the ceremony, each guest receives a Happy Meal toy as a gift, while the bride and groom are given a photo frame shaped like Ronald McDonald, marked \u2018limited edition number 138\u2019, an auspicious Figure. No alcohol is served at McDonalds, so instead the guests toast the couple with milk shakes and sundaes. You can have a lot of fun with a soft drink and a balloon.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

Three Hong Kong branches of McDonalds introduced cut-price McWeddings in January, and the public response has been enthusiastic. \u201cA typical Chinese wedding costs about $29,000,\u201d anthropologist Gordon Matthews explained, \u201cand it can take the groom\u2019s family many years to save such a sum. By contrast, a McWedding starts at \u00a31,280, including invitation cards, food, drink, gifts, and wedding photos for fifty guests. In the US and Europe, middle-class people look down on McDonalds, but Hong Kong is different. A McDonalds wedding isn\u2019t seen as tacky here. The chief concern here is being able to book your McWedding on the most auspicious date on the lunar calendar.\u201d<\/em> \u2013 New York Times, 27\/2\/2011<\/p>\n

And finally, I think the following was posted on Facebook. It\u2019s certainly been doing the rounds so some of you no doubt will have run across it.<\/p>\n