{"id":6405,"date":"2014-06-01T07:00:03","date_gmt":"2014-06-01T06:00:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/?p=6405"},"modified":"2014-05-30T09:46:25","modified_gmt":"2014-05-30T08:46:25","slug":"1-june-2014","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2014\/06\/01\/1-june-2014\/","title":{"rendered":"1 June 2014"},"content":{"rendered":"

This came from our friend Erik Benson in France:<\/p>\n

MY WIFE’S RIDE-ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE !<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s the story. It\u2019s still hard to believe the way it turned out.<\/p>\n

My wife said she wanted a ride-on lawn mower. She works all day and was always tired when she came home from work, and I thought that a ride-on lawn mower would help her get the yard work done quicker so she would have more time for the chores inside.<\/p>\n

So, being the handy sort of guy that I am, I made her a ride-on lawn mower. I thought she would squeal with delight or something and give me a big hug. I even put a light on it so she could work at night (see photo below), after she finishes putting away the dinner dishes.<\/p>\n

To this day I still can’t understand why some women are so hard to please!!<\/p>\n

\"lawnmower\"<\/a><\/p>\n

P.S.<\/p>\n

I can see out of my left eye pretty good now and should be able to leave the hospital sometime next week!<\/p>\n

\n

This might be a bit \u201crude\u201d for my mother.<\/p>\n

Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!<\/p>\n

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek.<\/p>\n

In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I’m worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again.<\/p>\n

My relief was short-lived.<\/p>\n

Seeing the way things are going, the guy races over to me! Now everyone’s attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50.<\/p>\n

My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do?<\/p>\n

The woman in me took over!<\/p>\n

I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and left.<\/p>\n

\n

I am not sure I would agree but one can\u2019t fault the logic, I suppose.<\/p>\n

Proof that a peanut butter sandwich is better than a good steak:<\/p>\n

Nothing is better than a good steak, but a peanut butter sandwich is better than nothing.<\/p>\n

\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This came from our friend Erik Benson in France: MY WIFE’S RIDE-ON LAWN MOWER IS NOW FOR SALE ! Here\u2019s the story. It\u2019s still hard to believe the way it turned out. My wife said she wanted a ride-on lawn mower. She works all day and was always tired when she came home from work, … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “1 June 2014”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-1Fj","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6405"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6405\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}