One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged.\u00a0 When his boss asked him what happened, he explained:<\/p>\n
“Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!”<\/p>\n
“Well,” the boss said, “that explains one ear, but what about the other?”<\/p>\n
“They called back!”<\/p>\n
I know we\u2019ve had this one before but it somehow seems quite topical.<\/p>\n
A guy goes into U.S. Postal Service to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you allergic to anything?”<\/p>\n
He replies, “Yes, caffeine. I can’t drink coffee.”<\/p>\n
“Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?”<\/p>\n
“Yes,” he says, “I was in Afghanistan for one tour.”<\/p>\n
The interviewer says, “That will give you 5 extra points toward employment.” Then he asks, “Are you disabled in any way?”<\/p>\n
The guy says, “Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles.”<\/p>\n
The interviewer grimaces and then says, “Okay. You’ve got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and you might as well plan on starting at 10:00 am every day.”<\/p>\n
The guy is puzzled and asks, “If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don’t you want me here until 10?”<\/p>\n
“This is a government job,” the interviewer says. “For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in You coming in for that.”<\/p>\n
Seven-year-old Alex came home from school one day. He walked in the house. “Hello, Alex,” his mother greeted.<\/p>\n
“Hi, Mom!” Alex replied as he got a glass of milk from the fridge and took a seat at the table.<\/p>\n
“Anything interesting happen in school today?” Mom asked as she sat down across from him.<\/p>\n
“My teacher was asking me about our family,” Alex replied.<\/p>\n
“Really?” Mom asked, smiling. “What did she ask?”<\/p>\n
Alex said, “She asked if I had any brothers or sisters that will be coming to school.”<\/p>\n
“That’s nice of her to take such an interest in you,” Mom commented. “So what did she say when you told her that you’re the only child, my dear?”<\/p>\n
Alex took another mouthful of milk and then answered, “She just said, ‘Thank goodness!'”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One day an employee came in to work with both of his ears bandaged.\u00a0 When his boss asked him what happened, he explained: “Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron instead of the phone!” “Well,” the boss said, “that explains one ear, but what about the … <\/p>\n