A young lady graduated from college and started teaching at an area school. One day she went with a friend to a nearby restaurant for lunch. A man seated next to her asks, “Are you a teacher?”<\/p>\n
Surprised but happy, she replied, “Why, yes, I certainly am!” She enjoyed a warm feeling throughout the meal. She looked like a teacher, and this made her feel great. As she was leaving the restaurant, she asked the man, “How did you know I was a teacher?”<\/p>\n
“You have chalk dust on your butt,” he replied.<\/p>\n
The torrential rain was unrelenting, and the town was evacuated when it became clear the dam couldn’t hold back the waters for much longer.<\/p>\n
As flood waters rise, a very religious woman put all her faith in God and won’t leave her house. She says to all, “God will take care of me.”<\/p>\n
When local authorities come by in 4-wheel drive vehicles, going house to house, telling everyone to get out and rescuing those who need it, she says “God will provide,” and refuses to leave.<\/p>\n
Later, as the waters have risen significantly and surround the homes, the authorities come back in a boat. Again, they offer to rescue her. “God will provide!” she says, shooing them away.<\/p>\n
Finally, the water floods her whole house, so she climbs onto the roof. A rescue helicopter comes by, but again, she refuses to get on, saying “God will provide.”<\/p>\n
Sadly, the woman is drowned in the flood and, when she gets up to heaven, she complains to God, “I had faith in you! I thought you would save me!”<\/p>\n
“What are you talking about?” God says. “I sent you a Jeep, a boat, and a helicopter!”<\/p>\n
A man is standing outside the gates of Heaven.<\/p>\n
Saint Peter approaches and says “Can I help you?”<\/p>\n
The man replies “No thanks.” He continues to stand on the clouds.<\/p>\n
“Are you sure I can’t help you?” says Saint Peter.<\/p>\n
“No. That’s fine,” says the man.<\/p>\n
Several minutes pass before Saint Peter approaches the man again.<\/p>\n
“Look,” he says, “You do realize that if you’re here, you’re dead — right?”<\/p>\n
“Oh I realize that,” replies the man.<\/p>\n
“You realize that,” Saint Peter repeats.<\/p>\n
The man points down through the clouds. “I’m just waiting for the Medics down there to realize that!<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A young lady graduated from college and started teaching at an area school. One day she went with a friend to a nearby restaurant for lunch. A man seated next to her asks, “Are you a teacher?” Surprised but happy, she replied, “Why, yes, I certainly am!” She enjoyed a warm feeling throughout the meal. … <\/p>\n