{"id":5585,"date":"2013-12-22T07:05:30","date_gmt":"2013-12-22T07:05:30","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/?p=5585"},"modified":"2013-12-22T09:58:10","modified_gmt":"2013-12-22T09:58:10","slug":"22-december-2013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2013\/12\/22\/22-december-2013\/","title":{"rendered":"22 December 2013"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

We\u2019ve had a couple of stunningly gorgeous mornings this week. It\u2019s been brilliantly bright & clear, crisp and frosty with the sun so low in the sky it seems to scrape along the horizon. In the mornings on my rambles around the recreation ground with Molly I have to pull my hat down well over my eyes and stare at the ground a few paces ahead to avoid burning a hole in my retina. Hmm, perhaps that’s how I got it in the first place. Of course those couple of gorgeous mornings have been interspersed with the usual collection of grey and dreary mornings accompanied by the occasional deluge of Biblical proportions with gale force winds. What would we talk about if the weather weren\u2019t so variable?<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"TheWe had a grand day out last Saturday \u2013 Ms Playchute and I meandered up to London to join friends for the matinee performance of The Duck House<\/a>, a play about the expenses scandal in Parliament a few years ago and then dinner at Browns<\/a> after. One would think with such astoundingly absurd content to work with, the play would have been very, very funny. And, some in the audience did indeed find it hysterically funny; we found it less so. It was presented as a pantomime farce (which makes sense considering that the scandal itself was farcical \u2013 MPs of all parties with their noses firmly entrenched in the trough hoovering up whatever they felt they could get away with and then reacting with astonishment when the general public found their behaviour so despicable).<\/p>\n

While glancing around at various reviews (after the event \u2013 I like to see something without the influence of having read someone else\u2019s comments) I was struck by how many reviews used one of my favourite expressions:<\/p>\n

Houston\u2019s expenses turn out to be the least of his problems however, when it is revealed he has a housekeeper without the right paperwork, employs his wife as his secretary despite her not being able to turn on a computer and is claiming for a second home he has never stepped foot in. You couldn\u2019t make it up! (Radio Times)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Twenty-nine pounds and ninety-nine pence for a glittery loo seat; \u00a3380 for 550 sacks of manure; a \u00a32,000 bill for cleaning the moat. You couldn\u2019t make it up. (The Independent)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"TheIt was, regrettably, all so predictable \u2013 at one point the woman sitting in front of me (who was one of the audience who did laugh hysterically throughout) even completed one of the lines out loud while the main actor, Ben Miller, was pausing for \u201cdramatic\u201d effect. It was just like a Christmas pantomime \u2013 \u201cHe\u2019s in the wardrobe!\u201d she shouted which at least did give Miller the opportunity for a bit of improvisation which was perhaps the best portion of the play.<\/p>\n

Mildly amusing but, considering the source material, ultimately disappointing. You couldn\u2019t make it up! (Befouled Weakly News)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

The other day Ms Playchute and I were on our afternoon walk around the Edgecote estate when we saw, for the first time, the new water wheel in service. Many of you who have done that walk with us will remember the lovely Mill House on the estate. As you might be able to deduce from its name, there used to be a water wheel at the Mill House which was used for grinding corn. Of course that\u2019s long gone although much of the infrastructure was still in place. Penny and I often commented how they might be able to erect a new water wheel and use it to generate some electricity to feed back into the grid.<\/p>\n

In the early spring that\u2019s exactly what they started. They needed to do a fair bit of work around the sluice gate and build an area to house the generator but it was all essentially done (or so it seemed) by early July. The wheel was in place and we fully expected it to be operational soon thereafter. For some reason, however, it wasn\u2019t implemented until a few weeks ago and very impressive it is too! Talking to the people who live in the Mill House we learned that it had been running a bit off and on before we saw it but it was very noisy with an excessive amount of splashing. This required that they do a bit of adjustment which is why it had taken so long. Now it runs very smoothly and with a minimum of noise. Very impressive.<\/p>\n

httpv:\/\/youtu.be\/QqXmi3ODdu0<\/p>\n

This week\u2019s rant: another example of how journalism works<\/a>.<\/p>\n

A recent article published by the Daily Mail was headlined “Romanians arrested at seven times rate of Britons”. Unfortunately, as is the case with much that the Daily Mail publishes, it\u2019s not true and contains significant distortions in an attempt to manipulate public opinion. The Daily Mail wrote that, \u201cFor every 1000 Romanians in London, 183 are arrested.\u201d According to figures from the Metropolitan Police, the number of Romanians arrested in the previous year was 800. Doing the maths comes to the conclusion that this would amount to a Romanian population in London of about 4300. In fact, there are more than 60,000 Romanians living there. This works out at a rate of 13 arrests per thousand, not 183. The same article went on to say that the arrest rate for Britons is 26 per thousand \u2013 about twice the real rate for Romanians.<\/p>\n

You couldn\u2019t make it up! (But, they do and the amazing thing is that so many people believe them). The Romanian ambassador complained to the Metropolitan Police who apologised for the way in which their crime statistics were distorted by the Daily Mail.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Penny and I heard this on the radio the other day and, as it\u2019s coming up to Christmas, I thought I would share it.<\/p>\n

\"BenjaminTalking Turkeys!<\/p>\n

Be nice to yu turkeys dis Christmas
\nCos’ turkeys just wanna hav fun
\nTurkeys are cool, turkeys are wicked
\nAn every turkey has a Mum.
\nBe nice to yu turkeys dis christmas,
\nDon’t eat it, keep it alive,
\nIt could be yu mate, an not on your plate
\nSay, Yo! Turkey I’m on your side.<\/p>\n

I got lots of friends who are turkeys
\nAn all of dem fear christmas time,
\nDey wanna enjoy it, dey say humans destroyed it
\nAn humans are out of dere mind,
\nYeah, I got lots of friends who are turkeys
\nDey all hav a right to a life,
\nNot to be caged up an genetically made up
\nBy any farmer an his wife.<\/p>\n

Turkeys just wanna play reggae
\nTurkeys just wanna hip-hop
\nCan yu imagine a nice young turkey saying,
\n‘I cannot wait for de chop’,
\nTurkeys like getting presents, dey wanna watch christmas TV,
\nTurkeys hav brains an turkeys feel pain
\nIn many ways like yu an me.<\/p>\n

I once knew a turkey called…….. Turkey
\nHe said “Benji explain to me please,
\nWho put de turkey in Christmas
\nAn what happens to christmas trees?”,
\nI said “I am not too sure turkey
\nBut it’s nothing to do wid Christ Mass
\nHumans get greedy an waste more dan need be
\nAn business men mek loadsa cash’.<\/p>\n

Be nice to yu turkey dis Christmas
\nInvite dem indoors fe sum greens
\nLet dem eat cake an let dem partake
\nIn a plate of organic grown beans,
\nBe nice to yu turkey dis Christmas
\nAn spare dem de cut of de knife,
\nJoin Turkeys United an dey’ll be delighted
\nAn yu will mek new friends ‘FOR LIFE’.<\/p>\n

\n

Benjamin Zephaniah<\/p>\n

And, speaking of Christmas, we dispatched our seasonal greetings a few days ago, some by post (for those whom we think might appreciate a printed copy) and the larger portion by e-mail, partly to do a tiny bit for the environment but mainly to reduce our contribution to the shareholder dividend for the newly privatised Royal Mail. If you were on the postal list you may or may not have received your copy yet so don\u2019t panic! If you were on the e-mail list and your copy doesn\u2019t\/didn\u2019t arrive, it probably means that the e-mail address we have for you is out of date. Send us a new address (if you dare) and we will send a copy off. If you\u2019re desperate though you can find the Christmas newsletter here<\/a>. And whether you receive the posted or virtual version (or none at all), we think of you often and hope you have a splendid day and a relaxing break.<\/p>\n

\"Loomus<\/a><\/p>\n

We\u2019re off to Nick and Lucy\u2019s for the day and looking forward to a lovely time.<\/p>\n

Much love to you all,<\/p>\n

Greg<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We\u2019ve had a couple of stunningly gorgeous mornings this week. It\u2019s been brilliantly bright & clear, crisp and frosty with the sun so low in the sky it seems to scrape along the horizon. In the mornings on my rambles around the recreation ground with Molly I have to pull my hat down well over … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “22 December 2013”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-1s5","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5585"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5585\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}