One day a bachelor, who was a poor tipper, walked into his favorite restaurant and ordered lunch. A new waitress served his meal and received a three cent tip. When he came in the next day, she thanked him for his ‘generosity’ and she said she could tell the character of a diner by the way he tipped. “Yeah? What can you tell about me?” he asked.<\/p>\n
“You put three pennies in a neat row,” said the waitress, “and that shows you are a very tidy person. The first penny tells me you are frugal and the second tells me that you are a bachelor.”<\/p>\n
“That’s true,” he agreed. “But what does the third penny tell you?”<\/p>\n
“The third penny tells me your father was a bachelor too.”<\/p>\n
The neighbor dropped in on a friend and found her sitting at the kitchen table, staring blankly at a half-empty cup of coffee; her three kids squabbling loudly in the other room. “What’s wrong Marge?” she asked.<\/p>\n
Marge told her that she had morning sickness. Surprised, the neighbor said, “I didn’t even know you were pregnant!”<\/p>\n
“I’m not.” the harried young woman replied. “I’m just sick of mornings.”<\/p>\n
A couple of old guys in Palm Desert were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Smith for a new set of dentures in the morning.<\/p>\n
His elderly buddy remarked that he too had gone to the very same dentist two years before.<\/p>\n
“Is that so?” asked the first old guy. “Did he do a good job?”<\/p>\n
The second oldster replied, “Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 100 mph when it smacked me right in the testicles.”<\/p>\n
The first old guy was confused and asked, “What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?”<\/p>\n
“It was the first time my teeth didn’t hurt…”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
One day a bachelor, who was a poor tipper, walked into his favorite restaurant and ordered lunch. A new waitress served his meal and received a three cent tip. When he came in the next day, she thanked him for his ‘generosity’ and she said she could tell the character of a diner by the … <\/p>\n