“Look at this mess!” roared an angry customer at a local cafe, pointing to his squashed doughnut.<\/p>\n
“It’s just as you ordered it, sir,” the waitress replied meekly. “You told me to bring you coffee and a doughnut, and step on it.”<\/p>\n
The following reminds me of the often mis-quoted line from The Treasure of the Sierra Madre<\/i> \u201cWe don\u2019t need no stinkin\u2019 badges.\u201d<\/p>\n
A man goes into an ice cream parlour and says, “I’d like two scoops of chocolate ice cream, please.”<\/p>\n
The girl behind the counter says, “I’m very sorry, sir, but our delivery truck broke down this morning. We’re out of chocolate.”<\/p>\n
“In that case,” the man says, “I’ll have two scoops of chocolate ice cream.”<\/p>\n
“You don’t understand, sir,” the girl says. “We have no chocolate.”<\/p>\n
“Then just give me some chocolate,” he says.<\/p>\n
Getting angrier by the second, the girl says, “Sir, will you spell VAN, as in vanilla?”<\/p>\n
The man says, “V-A-N.”<\/p>\n
“Now spell STRAW, as in strawberry.”<\/p>\n
“OK. S-T-R-A-W.”<\/p>\n
“Now,” the girl says, “spell STINK, as in chocolate.”<\/p>\n
The man hesitates. Then he says. “There is no stink in chocolate.”<\/p>\n
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!” she screams.<\/p>\n
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, “Why is the bride dressed in white?”<\/p>\n
“Because white is the color of happiness,” her mother explained. “And today is the happiest day in her life.”<\/p>\n
The child thought about this for a moment. “So why is the groom wearing black?”<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Look at this mess!” roared an angry customer at a local cafe, pointing to his squashed doughnut. “It’s just as you ordered it, sir,” the waitress replied meekly. “You told me to bring you coffee and a doughnut, and step on it.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4871","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-1gz","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4871","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4871"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4871\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4871"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4871"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4871"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}