{"id":4854,"date":"2013-06-02T07:00:20","date_gmt":"2013-06-02T06:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/?p=4854"},"modified":"2013-06-01T11:00:54","modified_gmt":"2013-06-01T10:00:54","slug":"2-june-2013-amusements","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2013\/06\/02\/2-june-2013-amusements\/","title":{"rendered":"2 June 2013 &#8211; Amusements"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>This came from Steph.<\/p>\n<p>Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAs good as this is,&#8221; said the Scotsman, &#8220;I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there&#8217;s a wee place called McTavish&#8217;s. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he&#8217;ll buy the fifth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, Angus,&#8221; said the Englishman, &#8220;at my local pub in London, the Red Lion, the barman will buy you your third drink after you buy the first two.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Ahhh, dat&#8217;s nothin&#8217;,&#8221; said the Irishman, &#8220;back home in my favorite pub, the moment you set foot in the place, they&#8217;ll buy you a drink, then another, all the drinks you like, actually. Then, when you&#8217;ve had enough drinks, they&#8217;ll take you upstairs and see dat you gets laid, all on the house!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The Englishman and Scotsman were suspicious of the claims.<\/p>\n<p>The Irishman swore every word was true.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Did this actually happen to you?&#8221; they asked.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No not meself, personally, no,&#8221; admitted the Irishman, &#8220;but it did happen to me sister quite a few times.&#8221;<!--more--><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>A report says that the world population is 17 million tons overweight, which means the sea level isn&#8217;t rising at all. We&#8217;re just so fat that the land is sinking into the ocean.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Would you please help me?&#8221; the newly married wife asked. &#8220;I bought a nine-pound turkey. Could you tell me how long to cook it in my new microwave?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Just a minute,&#8221; the food editor said, as he turned to check his reference book.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Oh, thank you,&#8221; she said. &#8220;You&#8217;ve been a big help. Good-bye!&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>This came from Steph. Three expatriates are drinking in a NY City bar. \u201cAs good as this is,&#8221; said the Scotsman, &#8220;I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there&#8217;s a wee place called McTavish&#8217;s. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he&#8217;ll buy the fifth.\u201d &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2013\/06\/02\/2-june-2013-amusements\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;2 June 2013 &#8211; Amusements&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4854","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-1gi","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4854","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4854"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4854\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4854"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4854"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4854"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}