These came from Dad \u2013 I could have sworn we\u2019ve featured these before in the Befouled Weakly News but searching turns up nothing. So, presumably I am mistaken (again).<\/p>\n
Classified ads reportedly from British Newspapers<\/p>\n
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.<\/p>\n
8 years old, Hateful little bugger. Bites!<\/p>\n
______________________________________________________________<\/p>\n
FREE PUPPIES<\/p>\n
1\/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1\/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog.<\/p>\n
______________________________________________________________<\/p>\n
FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.<\/p>\n
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.<\/p>\n
______________________________________________________________<\/p>\n
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.<\/p>\n
______________________________________________________________<\/p>\n
JOINING NUDIST COLONY!<\/p>\n
Must sell washer and dryer \u00a3100.<\/p>\n
______________________________________________________________<\/p>\n
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .<\/p>\n
Worn once by mistake.<\/p>\n
Call Stephanie.<\/p>\n
______________________________________________________________<\/p>\n
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannic, 45 volumes.<\/p>\n
Excellent condition, \u00a3200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.<\/p>\n
A lawyer phoned the governor\u2019s mansion shortly after midnight. \u201cI need to talk to the governor, it\u2019s an emergency!\u201d exclaimed the lawyer.<\/p>\n
After some cajoling, the governor\u2019s assistant agreed to wake him up.<\/p>\n
\u201cSo, what is it that\u2019s so important that it can\u2019t wait until morning?\u201d grumbled the governor.<\/p>\n
\u201cJudge Pierson just died, and I want to take his place,\u201d begged the attorney.<\/p>\n
\u201cWell, it\u2019s OK with me if it\u2019s OK with the mortuary,\u201d replied the governor.<\/p>\n
I was sitting on the sofa watching the television the other day when I heard Penny\u2019s voice from the kitchen.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat would you like for dinner, sweetheart? Chicken, beef or lamb?<\/p>\n
So, I thought for a moment or two and replied, \u201cThanks. I think I\u2019d prefer chicken, if it\u2019s all the same.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019re having soup. I was talking to the dog.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
These came from Dad \u2013 I could have sworn we\u2019ve featured these before in the Befouled Weakly News but searching turns up nothing. So, presumably I am mistaken (again). Classified ads reportedly from British Newspapers FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bugger. Bites! ______________________________________________________________ FREE PUPPIES 1\/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1\/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog. … <\/p>\n