A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said:<\/p>\n
“We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays.”<\/p>\n
For his entire working life, a dedicated and hardworking Astrophysicist tried in all earnest to find the existence of other beings somewhere in the universe. After 58 years of constant effort, he finally receives a response from a planet 30 billion light years away.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is your planet like?\u201d groaned the extra-terrestrial from the other side of the Galaxy.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is 12,756 kilometres in diameter, is 93,000,000 miles from the nearest star, our sun, has an average temperature of 72 degrees F. We breathe oxygen, live about 75 years, and have both men and women\u201d answered the Physicist.<\/p>\n
\u201cDo the you get along with the women on your planet?\u201d the extra-terrestrial asked slowly.<\/p>\n
Puzzled by the question, but not wanting to insult the female Physicists nearby, he answered \u201cWhy yes. We get along quite well here.\u201d<\/p>\n
The extra-terrestrial perked up \u201cCan we send you ours?”<\/p>\n
An\u00a0 Irish boy stands crying at the side of the\u00a0 road. A\u00a0 man asks him \u201cWhat’s wrong?\u201d<\/p>\n
The\u00a0 boy says \u201cMe ma is dead\u201d.<\/p>\n
\u201cOh\u00a0 bejaysus\u201d the man says \u201cDo you want me to\u00a0 call Father\u00a0 O’ Riley for you ?\u201d<\/p>\n
The\u00a0 boy replies \u201cNo tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the\u00a0 moment.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A couple celebrated their 25th wedding anniversary. When they were asked what their secret was to a long lasting marriage they said: “We take the time to go out to a restaurant two times a week. A candlelight dinner, soft music and a slow walk home. She goes on Tuesdays, and I go on Fridays.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"This week's feeble amusements from the Befouled Weakly News http:\/\/wp.me\/p1AKak-1ap","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4489","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-1ap","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4489","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4489"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4489\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4489"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4489"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4489"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}