A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.<\/p>\n
“Why don’t you do that?” said the wife.<\/p>\n
“Honey,” replied her husband, “I don’t even know that woman!”<\/p>\n
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signalled that he should bring his face closer to hers.<\/p>\n
As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. “Are you the manager?” she asked, softly\u00a0 stroking his face with both hands.<\/p>\n
“Actually, no,” he replied.<\/p>\n
“Can you get him for me? I need to speak to\u00a0 him,” she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.<\/p>\n
“I’m afraid I can’t,” breathed the\u00a0 bartender. \u00a0“Is there anything I can do?”<\/p>\n
“Yes. I need you to give him a message,” she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender’s lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.<\/p>\n
“What should I tell him?” the bartender\u00a0 managed to say.<\/p>\n
“Tell him,” she whispered, “There’s no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room.”<\/p>\n
When asked by a young patrol officer, “Do you know you were speeding?” The 83-year-old woman talked herself out of a ticket by stating, “Yes, but I had to get there before I forgot where I was going.”<\/p>\n
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing. “Why don’t you do that?” said the wife. “Honey,” replied her husband, “I don’t even know that woman!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3411","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-T1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3411","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3411"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3411\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3411"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3411"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3411"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}