![\"Land](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/04\/land_towell_large.jpg\" "\\"Land")
<\/a><\/p>\nThese came from the Car Talk site and reminded me of our personal favourite: \u201cPlease don\u2019t confuse Landtowel, because floor is very smooth. It\u2019s danger\u201d which we ran across in Dali.<\/p>\n
Cocktail lounge, Norway:<\/em> At a Budapest zoo:<\/em> Doctor’s office, Rome:<\/em> Hotel, Acapulco:<\/em> Booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:<\/em> Car rental brochure, Tokyo:<\/em> In a Nairobi restaurant:<\/em> On the grounds of a private school:<\/em> On an Athi River highway:<\/em> On a poster at Kencom:<\/em> In a City restaurant:<\/em> One of the Mathare buildings:<\/em> A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:<\/em> In a Pumwani maternity ward:<\/em> In a cemetery:<\/em> Tokyo hotel’s rules and regulations:<\/em> On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:<\/em> Hotel brochure, Italy:<\/em> Hotel lobby, Bucharest:<\/em> Hotel elevator, Paris:<\/em> Hotel, Yugoslavia:<\/em> Hotel, Japan:<\/em> In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:<\/em> Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:<\/em> Taken from a menu, Poland:<\/em> Supermarket, Hong Kong:<\/em> From the “Soviet Weekly”:<\/em> In an East African newspaper:<\/em> A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest:<\/em> Hotel, Zurich:<\/em> An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:<\/em> A laundry in Rome:<\/em> Tourist agency, Czechoslovakia:<\/em> Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:<\/em> The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:<\/em> In a Swiss mountain inn:<\/em> Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:<\/em> I overheard Penny talking to a friend the other day, “You should listen to my neighbour,” she says. “She is always bad-mouthing her poor husband behind his back. I think that’s so rude. Look at me! My husband is fat, lazy and cheap; but have you ever heard me say a bad word about him?”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Jay went to a psychiatrist. \u201cDoc, he said, \u201cI\u2019ve got trouble. Every time I get into bed I think there is somebody under it. I get under the bed; I think there\u2019s somebody on top of it. Top, under, under top. I\u2019m going crazy!\u201d \u201cJust put yourself in my hands for two years,\u201d said the … <\/p>\n
\nLadies are requested not to have children in the bar.<\/p>\n
\nPlease do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.<\/p>\n
\nSpecialist in women and other diseases.<\/p>\n
\nThe manager has personally passed all the water served here.<\/p>\n
\nCooles and heates: if you want condition of warm air in your room, please control yourself.<\/p>\n
\nWhen passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.<\/p>\n
\nCustomers who find our waitresses rude ought to see the manager.<\/p>\n
\nNo trespassing without permission.<\/p>\n
\nTake notice: When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.<\/p>\n
\nAre you an adult that cannot read? If so, we can help.<\/p>\n
\nOpen seven days a week, and weekends too.<\/p>\n
\nMental health prevention centre.<\/p>\n
\nDo not activate with wet hands.<\/p>\n
\nNo children allowed.<\/p>\n
\nPersons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.<\/p>\n
\nGuests are requested not to smoke or do other disgusting behaviours in bed.<\/p>\n
\nOur wines leave you nothing to hope for.<\/p>\n
\nThis hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.<\/p>\n
\nThe lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.<\/p>\n
\nPlease leave your values at the front desk.<\/p>\n
\nThe flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.<\/p>\n
\nYou are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.<\/p>\n
\nYou are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists and writers are buried daily except Thursday.<\/p>\n
\nNot to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.<\/p>\n
\nSalad a firm’s own make;
\nlimpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger;
\nroasted duck let loose;
\nbeef rashers beaten in the country people’s fashion.<\/p>\n
\nFor your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.<\/p>\n
\nThere will be a Moscow exhibition of arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.<\/p>\n
\nA new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.<\/p>\n
\nIt is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for this purpose.<\/p>\n
\nBecause of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.<\/p>\n
\nTeeth extracted by the latest methodists.<\/p>\n
\nLadies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.<\/p>\n
\nTake one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages.<\/p>\n
\nWould you like to ride on your own ass?<\/p>\n
\nGuaranteed to work throughout its useful life.<\/p>\n
\nSpecial today\u2014no ice-cream.<\/p>\n
\nWe take your bags and send them in all directions.<\/p>\n
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