{"id":2586,"date":"2012-02-05T07:00:39","date_gmt":"2012-02-05T07:00:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/?p=2586"},"modified":"2012-02-04T09:13:14","modified_gmt":"2012-02-04T09:13:14","slug":"5-february-2012-amusements","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2012\/02\/05\/5-february-2012-amusements\/","title":{"rendered":"5 February 2012 &#8211; Amusements"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for Christmas dinner. As he arrived at their house he found his young nephew, Mikey, helping them bake some cupcakes. After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Mikey to put the icing on. When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;The cupcakes look delicious, Mike.&#8221; his uncle said. He took a bite and said, &#8220;Mikey these are so good.&#8221; As he finished the cupcake and took another, he again complimented his little nephew. &#8220;The cupcakes look beautiful, Mikey,&#8221; his uncle said. &#8220;How did you get the icing so neat?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>His nephew replied, &#8220;It was easy. I just licked them.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The uncle turned pale. He pointed to the plate of cupcakes. &#8220;You licked all of these?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Mikey replied, &#8220;Well no. After a while my tongue got tired, so I got the dog to help.&#8221;<!--more--><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>A woman is walking on the road and a voice shouts out, &#8220;Don&#8217;t take a step further.&#8221; She obeys and suddenly a ton of bricks fall on the place where she would have otherwise been.<\/p>\n<p>She thinks she imagined it and keeps walking until suddenly the voice calls out again. &#8220;Don&#8217;t take a step further.&#8221; She stops and a car skids past.<\/p>\n<p>Then suddenly she hears the voice saying &#8220;I am your guardian angel, and I will warn you before something bad happens to you. Now do you have any questions to ask me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYes!\u201d shouts the woman, &#8220;just where were you on my wedding day!&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>The Governor made room on his busy calendar to hear the plea of one Mrs Jones that her husband be released from the state penitentiary. &#8220;What was he sentenced for?&#8221; asked the Governor gently.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;For stealing a bread truck,&#8221; replied the offender&#8217;s wife.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Is he a good husband?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;No,&#8221; she replied frankly, blushing a bit. &#8220;He beats me when he gets drunk, he bullies our children, he&#8217;s unfaithful, and really not much good at all.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It sounds to me as though you&#8217;re better off without him,&#8221; said the Governor. &#8220;Why on earth do you want him out of jail?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well,&#8221; she explained, &#8220;we&#8217;re out of bread again.&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A young man was visiting his brother and sister-in-law for Christmas dinner. As he arrived at their house he found his young nephew, Mikey, helping them bake some cupcakes. After they were done, his sister-in-law allowed Mikey to put the icing on. When the boy had finished, he brought them to the table. &#8220;The cupcakes &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2012\/02\/05\/5-february-2012-amusements\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;5 February 2012 &#8211; Amusements&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-FI","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2586"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2586\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}