{"id":2114,"date":"2011-11-27T07:55:41","date_gmt":"2011-11-27T07:55:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/?p=2114"},"modified":"2011-11-26T09:41:29","modified_gmt":"2011-11-26T09:41:29","slug":"27-november-2011-amusements","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2011\/11\/27\/27-november-2011-amusements\/","title":{"rendered":"27 November 2011 &#8211; Amusements"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had run into one another virtually head-on.<\/p>\n<p>One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, &#8220;He wouldn&#8217;t let me have my half of the road!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who was examining his own damage. The police officer asked, &#8220;That old lady says that you wouldn&#8217;t let her have her half of the road. Why not?<\/p>\n<p>In exasperation, the man turns from his smashed car and says, &#8220;Officer, I would have been HAPPY to give her half of the road &#8212; if she had just let me know WHICH half she wanted!!!!&#8221;<!--more--><\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me&#8230; They must be Gods!<\/p>\n<p>A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me&#8230; I must be a God!<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>At a wedding reception recently the master of ceremonies announced, &#8220;Would all the married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The bartender was crushed to death.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: 'Gill Sans MT', sans-serif; font-size: small;\"><br \/>\n<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A police officer was investigating an accident on a two-lane, narrow road in which the drivers had run into one another virtually head-on. One driver, an extremely elderly woman, kept repeating, &#8220;He wouldn&#8217;t let me have my half of the road!&#8221; After gathering as much information as possible, he angrily approached the other driver, who &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2011\/11\/27\/27-november-2011-amusements\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;27 November 2011 &#8211; Amusements&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2114","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-y6","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2114","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2114"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2114\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2114"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2114"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2114"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}