{"id":191,"date":"2011-02-20T07:48:58","date_gmt":"2011-02-20T07:48:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/wordpress\/?p=191"},"modified":"2011-02-20T07:48:58","modified_gmt":"2011-02-20T07:48:58","slug":"20-february-2011-amusements","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2011\/02\/20\/20-february-2011-amusements\/","title":{"rendered":"20 February 2011 &#8211; Amusements"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>In the hospital where I work, the quality of meals offered in the employees&#8217; cafeteria is a source of aggravation. Once I watched two young surgeons approach the serving line.<\/p>\n<p>After reading the posted menu and looking over the dishes displayed, one doctor turned to the other and remarked, &#8220;No doubt about it, this calls for a culinary bypass.&#8221; And they left.<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p>A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Now,&#8221; he said,\u201d what do you learn from this?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>An eager student gave his answer.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well the answer is obvious,&#8221; he said &#8221; if you drink alcohol, you&#8217;ll never have worms.&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p>A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Listen,&#8221; said the CEO, &#8220;this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for me?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Certainly,&#8221; said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Excellent, excellent!&#8221; said the CEO, as his paper disappeared inside the machine. &#8220;I just need one copy&#8230;&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p>As in many homes on New Year&#8217;s Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important &#8211; the football games on television, or the dinner itself.<\/p>\n<p>To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.<\/p>\n<p>Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was.<\/p>\n<p>I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;See?&#8221; she said, continuing to smile, &#8220;You didn&#8217;t miss a thing.&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr\/>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In the hospital where I work, the quality of meals offered in the employees&#8217; cafeteria is a source of aggravation. Once I watched two young surgeons approach the serving line. After reading the posted menu and looking over the dishes displayed, one doctor turned to the other and remarked, &#8220;No doubt about it, this calls &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2011\/02\/20\/20-february-2011-amusements\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;20 February 2011 &#8211; Amusements&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-191","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-35","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/191","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=191"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/191\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=191"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=191"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=191"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}