{"id":121,"date":"2011-02-06T09:02:22","date_gmt":"2011-02-06T09:02:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/wordpress\/?p=121"},"modified":"2011-02-06T09:02:22","modified_gmt":"2011-02-06T09:02:22","slug":"6-february-2011-amusements","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2011\/02\/06\/6-february-2011-amusements\/","title":{"rendered":"6 February 2011 &#8211; Amusements"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Following on from last week\u2019s piece about jokes from different countries and how they very often are all about making fun of a neighbouring country or region, I ran across this one the other day which, once again, illustrates the point:<\/p>\n<p>A couple of Canadian Native Americans were driving along a road when they collided with an American car head on. Both Indians and the American were killed instantly.<\/p>\n<p>As they reached heaven, God said \u201cWait, it&#8217;s not your time. You have to go back.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHow can we go back?\u201d they replied. \u201cOur bodies were mangled in the car accident.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>God pointed to a wishing well and, when they looked down it, they could see the world below them. \u201cI&#8217;ll reincarnate you as an animal,\u201d God said, \u201cjust say what you want to be and jump in.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The first Indian ran, jumped into the well and shouted \u201cEagle!\u201d and he suddenly became a majestic eagle, soaring high.<\/p>\n<p>The second Indian ran to the well, jumped in and shouted \u201cWolf\u201d and so he became a mighty wolf, running free in the forest.<\/p>\n<p>Astounded and delighted by this the American sprinted towards the well, tripped on a rock and shouted, \u201cShit!\u201d<br \/>\n<!--more--><\/p>\n<hr\/>\n<p>A farmer and his wife had just woken up one morning to the crowing of their rooster. While still in bed, the farmer&#8217;s wife says, &#8220;Pa, you know our neighbour Mr Jones?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Yes Ma, I reckon I do,&#8221; replied the sleepy farmer.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;Well, every morning before he leaves the house for work, he gives his wife a big ol&#8217; kiss. Why don&#8217;t you ever do that?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The farmer sighed and said, &#8220;Well, I reckon I can, but I just don&#8217;t know her all that well.&#8221;<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p>A very thirsty man goes into a bar. As he waits to get the bartender&#8217;s attention, a regular sitting next to him calls out, &#8220;I&#8217;ll have another Waterloo.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The bartender gives the regular a tall ice cold drink and asks the newcomer what he would like.<\/p>\n<p>The thirsty man points to the man next to him and says, &#8220;That looks great! I&#8217;ll have what he&#8217;s having, a Waterloo.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>So the bartender brings the newcomer a tall ice cold drink. The man takes a long deep drink and calls out, &#8220;HEY! This isn&#8217;t any good. It tastes just like water!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The regular bar patron sitting next to him says, &#8220;It is water, buddy. That&#8217;s all I drink,&#8221; He turns to the bartender and says, &#8220;Right Lou?&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Following on from last week\u2019s piece about jokes from different countries and how they very often are all about making fun of a neighbouring country or region, I ran across this one the other day which, once again, illustrates the point: A couple of Canadian Native Americans were driving along a road when they collided &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/2011\/02\/06\/6-february-2011-amusements\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;6 February 2011 &#8211; Amusements&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"ngg_post_thumbnail":0,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-121","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-amusements"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9w76b-1X","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=121"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/121\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=121"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=121"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.stragnell.com\/befoulednews\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=121"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}