22 July 2012 – Amusements

In case of emergency this is good to know. I had a flat tire on the interstate, so I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk. I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They look so life like you wouldn’t believe it! They are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies to the approaching drivers.

To my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my life-like men, which made it safer for me to work at the side of the road.

And, of course, traffic started backing up. Everybody was tooting their horns and waving like crazy. It wasn’t long before a state trooper pulled up behind me. He gets out of his car and starts walking towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!

“What’s going on here lady?!!!!!”

“My car has a flat tire,” I said calmly.

“Well, what the h—- are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?”

I couldn’t believe that he didn’t know. So I told him, “Helloooooo, those are my Emergency Flashers.” Continue reading “22 July 2012 – Amusements”

15 July 2012

This week we have been mainly having . . . Oh, I used that already.

It may surprise you to know that we had a very pleasant day on Friday, in contrast to the continuing gloom and deluges we have enjoyed throughout the rest of the week. But on Friday, in the early evening particularly, it was very pleasant – the skies were relatively clear, the sun shone and Ms Playchute and I even ventured out and sat on the patio drinking some very pleasant wine from the Languedoc. Opportunities to sit out have been decidedly limited this summer and we had almost forgotten what a pleasant way to round off a busy week sitting out in the sunshine with a bottle of wine can be. Don’t worry – Saturday it rained for much of the day. Continue reading “15 July 2012”

8 July 2012

RainThere was a television programme a few years back called “The Fast Show” which our English readership will remember. One of the recurring sketches each week was the appearance of Jesse who pronounced on various topics. This unkempt, dishevelled tramp would emerge from a dilapidated shed and announce that this week he had been mostly eating . . .  boiled cabbage or Brussels sprouts, etc.

So, in fond memory of (and with apologies to) a pleasant enough comedy programme:

This week we have mostly been having . . . RAIN! Continue reading “8 July 2012”

8 July 2012 – Amusements

Mary and Sue hadn’t seen each other for years. When they finally sat down to lunch, Mary was stunned at how trim and healthy Sue looked. Mary asked “What do you do to stay so fit?”

“Well,” answered Sue, “I’ve found that nothing keeps me trimmer than having affairs.”

“Really!” exclaimed Mary, looking her friend up and down. “You simply must tell me who does your catering!” Continue reading “8 July 2012 – Amusements”

1 July 2012

UFOMy optimistic prediction that the pattern of improving weather would continue proved to be exactly that – wildly optimistic. I would have been content if the pattern of one nice day, two nice days, etc. were simply to increase in an arithmetic pattern; I wasn’t necessarily hoping for or expecting a geometric progression, i.e., one nice day, two nice days, four nice days, etc. What we seem to have now is a cyclical pattern, i.e., one nice day, two nice days, one nice day, etc. for we did, indeed, have one nice day this week (and that’s probably being somewhat generous with the definition of “nice”). On Thursday it was mainly dry (in our area, anyway – those further north are still clearing up after the floods they enjoyed), the sun shone (a bit) and the temperature was warm (77 degrees F, 25 degrees C) and humid. In between the downpours and deluges, one could almost convince oneself it was a good day.

And this just in – this has been the wettest June since records began and, similarly, the three month period from April to June is also the wettest April to June since records began. I guess our perception that the weather has been pretty lousy since that warm, sunny spell we had in March is just about right.

Continue reading “1 July 2012”

24 June 2012

Well, we had a 100% improvement in the weather this week: last week we had one nice day; this week it was two (Tuesday and Wednesday). If this trend continues we might actually get to enjoy a decent run of tolerable weather. On the other hand, Wimbledon starts this week and that’s generally a precursor to a couple of weeks of even lousier weather. So, who knows? Continue reading “24 June 2012”

17 June 2012

Good morning to you all on what I hope is a pleasantly pleasant day wherever you might find yourself. We had a very pleasant day this week: on Wednesday the sun shone, it was warm and the skies were clear. I only mention this because it was in such marked contrast to our weather the rest of the week – unremitting rain, wind and gloom. We received the following from Erik Benson which just about sums it all up. Continue reading “17 June 2012”