Day: 7 September 2014

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7 September 2014

Surprisingly, it’s been a pretty good week. After one of the coolest Augusts we’ve had in many years, September has started warm, dry and mainly sunny. We’re still waiting for the arrival of a proper Indian summer but this will do in the interim.

Penelope was out in the front the other day and noticed a veritable bombardment of swallows – there were probably around twelve to fifteen swallows performing aerial acrobatics above our driveway. I am guessing that this was the third brood of our resident swallows having been fledged and learning to fly and catch their food on the wing along with all the previous brothers and sisters. I imagine they were getting their instructions straight for the upcoming migration to South Africa.

“OK, has everyone got that? We’ll meet on the twelfth above the cricket pitch and then set off on the following day. Don’t forget to pack your toothbrush because once we leave we aren’t turning back!” Continue reading “7 September 2014”

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7 September 2014 – Amusements

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, “Tell me about the day you died.”

The man said, “Oh, it was awful. I was sure my wife was having an affair, so I came home early to catch her with him. I searched all over the apartment but couldn’t find him anywhere. So I went out onto the balcony, we live on the 25th floor, and found this man hanging over the edge by his fingertips. I went inside, got a hammer, and started hitting his hands. He fell, but landed in some bushes. So, I got the refrigerator and pushed it over the balcony and it crushed him.

The strain of the act gave me a heart attack, and I died.”

St. Peter couldn’t deny that this was a pretty bad day, and since it was a crime of passion, he let the man in.

He then asked the next man in line about the day he died.

“Well, sir, it was awful,” said the second man. “I was doing aerobics on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment when I twisted my ankle and slipped over the edge. I managed to grab the balcony of the apartment below, but some maniac came out and started pounding on my fingers with a hammer. Luckily I landed in some bushes. But, then the guy dropped a refrigerator on me!”

St. Peter chuckled, let him into heaven and decided he could really start to enjoy this job.

“Tell me about the day you died,” he said to the third man in line.

“OK, picture this, I’m naked, hiding inside a refrigerator….” Continue reading “7 September 2014 – Amusements”