Good morning on what looks like it could be a rather pleasant day – let’s hope so. Yesterday was one of those tantalising, almost spring like days which show glimpses of better things to come and which was certainly a pleasant contrast to the sleet and flakes of snow we had earlier in the week. The forecast for this afternoon is favourable so we’ll keep our fingers crossed and trust that the prognosticators are right this time. Continue reading “30 March 2014”
30 March 2014 – Amusements
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: ‘Take only ONE. God is watching.’
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, ‘Take all you want. God is watching the apples’. Continue reading “30 March 2014 – Amusements”
23 March 2014
Is it really a week since we last wrote? Where does the time go?
After the tantalising glimpse of Spring we had last Sunday and the eager anticipation of the warmer and calmer weather to come, I have to say that this week has been pretty disappointing. Although most mornings have dawned bright and sunny if a bit on the “fresh” side, it hasn’t taken long for the clouds to roll in and the wind to pick up leaving us feeling decidedly somewhat less than spring-like. The snatches of rain haven’t helped either.
23 March 2014 – Amusements
A mother decided to try a new recipe for corn-bread muffins using fresh corn. After tasting one, her seven-year-old son made no comment. “Honey,” she asked, “do you notice anything different about my muffins?”
“Yeah, Mom,” he replied. “They’re not burned.” Continue reading “23 March 2014 – Amusements”
16 March 2014
Good morning and welcome to a bumper edition of the Befouled Weakly News stuffed to overflowing with all sorts of bits and pieces, titbits and nibbles. We’ve got some spring flowers, a lovely stroll around the neighbourhood in Radway, our old village, a murmuration of starlings, the 100 “best” novels, the best place to read stories to your granddaughter, a lunch celebrating no food waste and baseball (finally) returns to our televisions this week. Wow! We’ve been busy! Continue reading “16 March 2014”
16 March 2014 – Amusements
A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own color TV, computer, games console, cell phone and CD player.”
“So what do you do?”
The father replied: “I send him to my room!” Continue reading “16 March 2014 – Amusements”
9 March 2014
Good morning after a week of fairly decent weather – quite a few bright and sunny mornings and only the one grey and drizzly day. With the clear skies we’ve had some frosty mornings which is always a blessing; Molly comes back relatively mud free and requires no washing off. The hosing down is reserved for the afternoon strolls after the frost has dissipated. Not surprisingly, with the temperatures soaring into the high 50s (F), Penelope wanted a fire in the grate.
9 March 2014 – Amusements
A man was sitting on a lonely beach. Tragically, through a childhood accident, he had lost both both of his arms and both of his legs. During the long afternoon, as he remained on the beach, three women separately walked past him. Each felt very sorry for the poor man.
The first woman said: “Have you ever had a hug?”
The man looked up and saw the woman was quite pretty. Sensing an opportunity he said, “No.” So she gave him a hug and walked on.
The second woman said: “Have you ever had a kiss?”
The man looked up and saw this woman was even prettier. “No,” he said with anticipation, so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The third woman came to him and said: “Have you ever been screwed?”
The man looked up and saw this one was drop-dead gorgeous. With anticipation welling up, and swallowing hard so he could talk, the fellow croaked out, “No.”
“Well, you will be in a few minutes,” she said, walking by. “The tide’s coming in.” Continue reading “9 March 2014 – Amusements”
2 March 2014
It’s actually been a fairly decent week, I have to confess. We’ve had a couple of nice, Spring-like days with some blue skies and relatively warm sunshine. Everything seems to be moving in the right direction – that is, until we heard the forecast for this weekend. No, not more rain as such but rather – snow. I’m doubtful that we will get any but it is decidedly cooler than it has been for much of the week and the sleeting rain would easily turn to snow on the higher ground. I guess the birds singing last week as if the future of their species depended on it were mistaken. Spring is still a little ways away. Continue reading “2 March 2014”
2 March 2014 – Amusements
A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.
As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.”
He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?” Continue reading “2 March 2014 – Amusements”