Month: November 2013

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24 November 2013

Last time I wrote that weather wise we seemed to be on that slippery slope down into the depths of winter. Boy! No kidding. The temperature has dropped like a stone falling through a vacuum; we’ve had rain, sleet, bitterly cold winds and hail along with a smattering of snow in the highlands. And it’s only November!

Ms Playchute and I enjoyed a lovely few days at the beginning of the week – we took ourselves off on a little mini-break to Norfolk and had a splendid time. Continue reading “24 November 2013”

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24 November 2013 – Amusements

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend.

One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him.

After a long period of silence she finally speaks. “Honey, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs.”

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?”

“For a minute there you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

“Ex-wife!” she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!”

“I wasn’t,” he replied. Continue reading “24 November 2013 – Amusements”

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17 November 2013

Another good week – pretty reasonable weather all told, some bright sunny days with some frosty mornings – we’re clearly on that slippery slope down into the depths of winter, though – it’s getting a bit brisk on those afternoon dog walks and the sun sets earlier every day.

We had a lovely evening out on Wednesday – we attended another live streaming of a play at the Banbury cinema. This time it was a Royal Shakespeare Company production of Richard II with David Tennant. This was the RSC’s first live streaming event from the Royal Shakespeare Theatre in Stratford-on-Avon and, apparently, it was available in cinemas all over the world! Continue reading “17 November 2013”

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17 November 2013 – Amusements

A variation on an old favourite:

On their way to get married, a young couple is involved in a fatal car accident.

The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?

When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.

St. Peter said, ‘I don’t know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,’ and he leaves.

The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. ‘What if it doesn’t work?’ they wondered, ‘Are we stuck together forever?’

After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.

‘Yes,’ he informs them, ‘you can get married in Heaven.’

‘Great!’ said the couple, ‘But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?’

St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

‘What’s wrong?’ asked the frightened couple.

‘OH, COME ON!’, St. Peter shouted, ‘It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it’ll take me to find a Lawyer?!’ Continue reading “17 November 2013 – Amusements”

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10 November 2013

Good morning to you all. We’ve had a fine week with some lovely days of bright sunshine as well as a couple of days with sheeting rain and wind. Today is supposed to be pretty nice although the temperatures have certainly decided that we’ve had enough moderate autumnal days and it’s time for the temperature to revert to something more approaching the seasonal norm. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted. Continue reading “10 November 2013”

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10 November 2013 – Amusements

An elderly rabbi wants to try pork before he dies. But terrified that one of his flock might see him, he drives 50 miles to a posh restaurant. They offer him a whole suckling piglet, and bring it out on a silver tray with garnish and an apple in its mouth.

Just as he is about to tuck in, he is appalled to see Goldberg, the president of his congregation. But he recovers. “Hey, Goldberg, how about this restaurant? I order a baked apple, and this is how they serve it!” Continue reading “10 November 2013 – Amusements”

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3 November 2013

Well, we survived the great storm of 2013, expected to be the worst storm to hit the British Isles in 25 years! It raced through on Sunday night/Monday morning with hurricane force winds and buckets of rain. The original map of the predicted track had it coming straight through our back garden but it seems that it crossed a little further south and, as a consequence, we had a lot of rain but thankfully no excessive winds. There have been a couple of fatalities in the south and quite a bit of structural damage so, on the whole, we got off lightly. Looks like the Netherlands and Belgium received the brunt of the storm instead of us. Continue reading “3 November 2013”

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3 November 2013 – Amusements

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”

She answers, “My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: first, you have to be single and second, you must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I am single and I’m Catholic too!

“OK,” the nun says “Pull into the next alley.”

He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

“My dear child,” said the nun. “Why are you crying?”

“Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

“That’s OK,” the nun says. “My name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.” Continue reading “3 November 2013 – Amusements”