Greg's Occasional News & Views
Well, the world has gone mad! One could be forgiven for thinking that the new royal prince was the second coming to listen to the walls of media coverage we’ve had to endure. In fact, it’s just a young couple having a baby. We’re all pleased for them, I’m sure but isn’t the non-stop, 24/7 media onslaught just a bit much, or am I being cynical?
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We’ve had it before but it still makes me chuckle (and, after all, that’s the only criteria that matters):
The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. “It will be waiting for you at the airport!” he was assured by his editor.
As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, “Let’s go! Let’s go!”
The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air.
“Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, “and make three or four low level passes.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.
“Because I’m going to take pictures! I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures!” said the photographer with great exasperation.
After a long pause the pilot said, “You mean you’re not the instructor?” Continue reading “28 July 2013 – Amusements”
Are you kidding me? While some of the rest of you have been enduring torrential downpours and burst beaver dams, we have been enjoying some of the finest weather to visit these shores in a very, very long time. Somewhat like waiting for a bus, I suppose – you wait years for a decent summer’s day and then ten or fifteen come along in a row! Continue reading “21 July 2013”
Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. Well, now that I think about it, I think you bring me bad luck! Continue reading “21 July 2013 – Amusements”
It was true! The weather forecast for this past week said we would have some lovely and gloriously warm sunshine and that’s what we had! What are the chances of that? It’s been largely sunny and warm (some amongst us might even categorise the temperature as “hot” but I think that’s taking things a step too far). Pleasantly warm, yes, but perhaps not quite yet “hot”.
And, they say it’s going to last a while longer! Excellent. Continue reading “14 July 2013”
The hotel guest called room service, “I want a breakfast of two eggs burned black around the edges, under cooked bacon, weak coffee, watery orange juice, and cold, hard, unbuttered toast.”
The room service clerk asked, “Why in the world would you want a terrible breakfast like that?”
“I’m homesick.” Continue reading “14 July 2013 – Amusements”
As many of you know, I gather bits and pieces for the Weakly News throughout the week and on Friday or Saturday I begin the task of pulling it all together. Yesterday, when I began this week’s edition, the weather was pretty decent so I thought I would check out the forecast for the days to come on the BBC weather site. Can this possibly be true?
27o C is a whopping 81o Fahrenheit! Whew! Continue reading “7 July 2013”
A slight variation on an old classic:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips when she saw an elderly woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the woman if she would like a ride. With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car. Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally. “What’s in the bag?” asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, “It’s a bottle of wine. Got it for my husband.”
The woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said, “Good trade.” Continue reading “7 July 2013 – Amusements”