What did I say last time? Something about basking in balmy, Spring-like weather or something similar I seem to recollect. Boy! Did I mis-speak. Temperatures have reverted to their “normal” February range with a bitterly biting easterly wind bringing sub-freezing temperatures from Scandinavia. At least we have been spared the mountains of snow they were predicting (so far – in our part of the country) which I can definitely do without. The silver lining is the frozen tundra, of course, which means that Molly returns from our walks unblemished. Continue reading “24 February 2013”
24 February 2013 – Amusements
“What do you do?” the pretty young thing asked the fellow on the stool next to her at the local watering hole.
“I’m a carnival performer,” he said. “I do amazing mental tricks.”
“Really? Like what?” she asked.
“The most amazing one is, I can feel a woman’s breasts, and tell the exact day she was born.”
“No way!”
“Yes, really.”
“OK, try it on me,” she said.
He reached over, put his hands up her shirt, and started poking, prodding, caressing, and gently pinching. He was clearly concentrating, but didn’t say a word.
“Well?” she finally she demanded after about two minutes. “When was I born?!”
“I’ve got it exactly,” he said, with one final squeeze. “Yesterday.” Continue reading “24 February 2013 – Amusements”
17 February 2013
Good morning to you all. Boy, did our weather change in a heartbeat! One evening we went to bed with about six to eight inches of snow on the ground and temperatures hovering just below freezing. The next day we wake up to no snow and temperatures a balmy, Spring-like 46o. We’d had rain over night as well as rising temperatures and naturally, with so much snow on the ground, there was widespread flooding. Our regular trek around the Edgecote estate was impassable due to the flooded Cherwell – not even Penelope with her high-legged Wellingtons was able to cross the river this time! Continue reading “17 February 2013”
17 February 2013 – Amusements
An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a mystic were asked to name the greatest invention of all time. The engineer chose fire, which gave humanity power over matter. The physicist chose the wheel, which gave humanity the power over space. The mathematician chose the alphabet, which gave humanity power over symbols.
The mystic chose the Thermos bottle.
“Why a Thermos bottle?” the others asked.
“Because the Thermos keeps hot liquids hot in winter and cold liquids cold in summer.”
“Yes, so what?”
“Think about it,” said the mystic reverently. “That little bottle – how does it know?” Continue reading “17 February 2013 – Amusements”
10 February 2013
Good morning to you all and have we got a lot to get through this morning!
I’ve had a very disconcerting time this week. A week ago last Wednesday I developed a cold – it started with a sore throat and then, by about Friday or Saturday, it had moved up into my ears. Fortunately, it never developed into a stonkingly bad cold and the symptoms have been considerately mild apart from the fact that both my ear canals are completely stuffed and I am (still, eleven days later) wandering around in a world of virtual silence. It’s like living perpetually under water (although without the issues one would face with regard to breathing); the sounds that one can hear are muted and seem distant – I’m sure you’ve all had similar experiences and know what I mean. Continue reading “10 February 2013”
10 February 2013 – Amusements
A pipe burst in a doctor’s house. He called a plumber. The plumber arrived, unpacked his tools, did mysterious plumber-type things for a while, and handed the doctor a bill for $600.
The doctor exclaimed, “This is ridiculous! I don’t even make that much as a doctor!.”
The plumber quietly answered, “Neither did I when I was a doctor.” Continue reading “10 February 2013 – Amusements”
3 February 2013
Good morning on this post-Groundhog Day – we certainly saw our shadows yesterday; it was bright, sunny with clear blue skies. Now what does that mean again? Ah, yes:
If Candlemas be fair and bright,
Winter has another flight.
If Candlemas brings clouds and rain,
Winter will not come again.
It has already been (and will undoubtedly continue to be), a great weekend of sport, possibly my favourite weekend of the year. Yesterday we had the start of the Six Nations Rugby competition in which this year the English team is reckoned to have a decent chance of topping the table. Without revealing any of yesterday’s results, let us remind ourselves that the English team always has the capacity to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory so we’ll see how things work out over the course of the competition. Continue reading “3 February 2013”
3 February 2013 – Amusements
Coming out of the supermarket the other day, I saw a scary sight. As a woman loaded groceries into her trunk, her shopping cart began to roll away. The scary part? It was heading straight for my car.
She ran after it, but was too late … the cart slammed into my driver’s side door. “How bad’s the damage?” I called out, running toward her.
“Bad,” she said, gathering her groceries. “I broke at least a dozen eggs.” Continue reading “3 February 2013 – Amusements”