Credit where credit is due – the BBC predicted that the Jet Stream was about to move and consequently bring us a spell of decent summer weather. Naturally, I doubted the accuracy of the report and put it down to wishful thinking or an attempt to bury the unremitting stream of bad news with something sure to cheer up the British public. Now I realise that the BBC is 100% accurate in everything they report, I will never doubt their weather forecasts again and I am delighted to be able to set the record straight. Continue reading “29 July 2012”
29 July 2012 – Amusements
This came from Sarah. We might have had it before but it’s still cute.
God said: “Frank, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there on the planet? What happened to the dandelions, violets, milkweeds and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long-lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But, all I see are these green rectangles.”
St. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers ‘weeds’ and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.
GOD: Grass? But, it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees; only grubs and sod worms. It’s sensitive to temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?
ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn. Continue reading “29 July 2012 – Amusements”