7 August 2011

What a difference a week makes! Last week we were still basking in the glow of the memory of Tuscan sunshine; this week we have come back to earth and reality – arguing and negotiating with our broadband provider, our telecommunications provider and BT (British Telecom who provide all the infrastructure for the various providers to utilise) over who should rectify the fact that we have intermittent or no internet access.

On Wednesday it rained after an extended dry spell. On Wednesday, after weeks, months and perhaps even years of almost flawless service, the internet started playing up. In the past when we’ve had internet or telephone issues the fault has always been located in the junction box on a telephone pole on the other side of the road. Of course, one cannot simply telephone BT and report a fault in any of their equipment; one is required to jump through various hoops with either the broadband provider and/or the telephone provider to determine whether the fault is internal or external to the house. Our experiences in the past would suggest that the fault was likely outside but we still need our providers to confirm this. So, on Wednesday we telephoned support. The problem was that the fault was intermittent and, in fact, the internet was working more than not. So, after a few pointless investigations, we crossed our fingers, held our breath and all of Thursday and Friday it was fine. Then, on Saturday it started again and we were back (a) on the phone and (b) swapping out every piece of equipment in an effort to try and determine where the fault lay. After several hours of fruitless investigation (which involves climbing into the loft and plugging equipment into the main socket) our broadband provider conceded that the fault must clearly be somewhere outside. So, over to BT to send an engineer which they will do . . . sometime on Monday. Continue reading “7 August 2011”

7 August 2011 – Amusements

A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally, conservative fellow, and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.”

“Don’t make a big deal, it’s only an earring,” he replies sheepishly.

His friend falls silent for a few minutes, but then his curiosity prods him to say, “So, how long have you been wearing one?”

“Ever since my wife found it in my truck.”


John and Suzi had just flown to their honeymoon destination in Daytona Beach in Florida. They found their hotel room but decided to refresh themselves with a dip in the hotel pool. Suzi must have dropped a few pounds due to the pre-wedding jitters, because each time she dived into the pool, she lost either the top or bottom of her skimpy new bikini. They had the pool to themselves, so they just laughed and retrieved the pieces.

Later they dressed for dinner and went down to the hotel restaurant. Waiting for a table they sat in the lounge with all the other guests and ordered drinks. Above the bar was a huge, empty, glistening fish tank. Curious, John asked, “Why is such a beautiful fish tank empty?”

The bartender grinned from ear to ear as he replied, “That’s not a fish tank, it’s the swimming pool.”


A man walked into the produce section of a local supermarket and asked to buy a half head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager: “Some asshole wants to buy a half head of lettuce.”

The manager was looking behind the boy, so the boy turned around to see the man standing right behind him. So he quickly added: “And this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half.”

The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager said to the boy: “I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here.”

“Thank you, sir,” the boy replied.

“Where are you from, son?”

“Texas, sir.”

“Well, why did you leave Texas?” the manager asked.

The boy said “Sir, there’s nothing down there but whores and football players!”

“Really,” said the manager. “My wife is from Texas.”

“No kidding!” replied the boy. “What position does she play?”